Tough

August 31, 2010

Tough

Yesterday was an especially tough day. If you'd asked me why I couldn't have put my finger on it. But all day it kept building until I had a few minutes by myself and it all hit me. A cascade of regrets that washed over me and held me captive for a little while. Things I wish I had done. Things I wish hadn't changed. Things I would do over if I could. Things I had that I miss. So, yeah...that lasted most of the day but I hid it as well as I could. I only cracked a little and I don't think anyone noticed. Not that anyone would. Today is better, I think.
I know life is full of changes and regrets and fond memories of happier times. Sometimes I get lost in the past and stop looking ahead. Sometimes I turn my focus inward...on me. Letting go of the hand that supports me, I stumble and sink into my little melt down pot where I sit in the dark all by myself. Eating worms. But eating worms is boring and it really doesn't make me feel any better. Besides, they really don't taste all that good. Kinda bitter.
Life is full of all kinds of things and most of them are things to look forward to, not hide from. So I get a grip and look up toward the light that my help comes from...again. Sheepishly reaching up for a hand and wondering why I ever let go in the first place.
We talked about fear in our ladies' Sunday School Class this week. One point that was made was that we don't know what's going to end up in our cup of life. But one thing we do know is that Jesus drank that cup for us on the cross and our name is safe in His mouth. And no matter what happens, we know how the story ends.

2 thoughts about my meanderings:

Londerz said...: What an excellent post! I face these emotional struggles almost every day... it's encouraging to know others are facing them as well! And what's more encouraging is seeing you trust; reminding me to trust even when it seems so hard.; August 31, 2010 at 4:41 PM
Sharon said...: Thanks, Princess. These cycling emotions make me feel like I'm a teen again so we may have more in common than one might think! :) Love to the family from PA.; August 31, 2010 at 6:19 PM

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What's this all about?

Keeping a journal or diary has never been easy for me. I loved the idea of it but remembering to do it daily was a problem. Then I'd feel guilty; procrastinating, thinking I'd make it up the next day only to find that a week had flown by without so much as a word from me! The worst part was that I couldn't remember some of the clever things I'd planned to say about the mundane experiences I'd had that made me...well, me. I think I'm a different person than I was all those years ago...expanding on old interests and learning new ones...teaching my little women and learning from them as well.

That time was longer ago than I care to think about. But the idea of putting down my thoughts where I can find them again has been ruminating lately so I decided to try it again in a newfangled context. What follows are the occasionally profound (said with tongue in cheek), often tedious, possibly interesting wanderings of a thoughtful mind.

Perhaps some of the musings that pass this way will inspire you, touch your heart, or brighten your day. So keep an open mind as you ponder my meanderings.

Ponderings of others

"If I'd never met you, I wouldn't like you; and if I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you; and if I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you, but I did, I do and I will."

"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous." ~Ingrid Bergman

"A true man does not need to romance a different girl every night. A true man will romance the same girl for the rest of his life." ~Ana Alas

"Love grows by giving."

"The love we give away is the only love we keep."

"The only way to retain love is to give it away." ~Elbert Hubbard

"A smile is almost always inspired by another smile." ~A

"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul." ~Judy Garland

"Love can make you do things that you never thought possible." ~Phil Collins

"The kiss~a sweet discovery of oneself after a long search." ~A
"Love is, above all, the gift of oneself." ~Jean Anouih

"If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving be me."~W. H. Auden

"Love is the only true adventure." ~A

"If you think you've given something your all, but your all is all about you, then you haven't truly given anything." ~A. Gimbledorf

"You don't love someone for their looks, their clothes or their fancy car but because they sing a song that only you can hear."

"Unless your heart, your soul and your whole being are behind every decision you make, the words from your mouth will be empty, and each action will be meaningless. Truth and confidence are the roots of happiness."

"Until one is commited, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness...." ~William Hutchinson Murray

"Life is confusing enough; Let's try not to muddy the waters with obscure statements that make folks scratch their heads in bewilderment." ~A. Gimbledorf

Ponder My Meanderings

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August 31, 2010

Tough

2 thoughts about my meanderings:

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