there's a side of me that I keep hidden
it's there among the dreams
my thoughts and hopes i've bidden
to reveal myself to you
Is it fear that keeps me in the dark
or just mistaken feelings
things i thought i wanted from the start
but now i'm not so sure
i'd love to come out of hiding
to show you who i really am
but fast from you i'm riding
to escape the feelings i thought i had
who am i really hiding from
what could be worse than this
adding heartache to the hurtful sum
of emotions lost but for what
there is no gain in all of this
if i can't be myself
there is a deeply heartfelt wish
to sweep it all aside
to revel in what i'd hoped to find
in this forest of my dreams
to justify my roaming mind
looking for a certain sign
it seems almost like a fairytale
too good to really be true
to what will all this hiding avail
not much if i'm far from you
i'm hidden in the forest
trees blocking me from your view
is this just a painful test
to teach me a needed lesson
if only i could be true
faithful instead of roaming
i'm sure i could make things new
repair the damage that i've done
i'm hidden in a thicket here
of my own desires and wants
keeping me from drawing near
to you so what's the use
you looked deep in my heart
what you saw there wasn't right
i needed to do my part
instead of focusing inside
i'm nothing without you
can you find it in your heart
to think of me anew
forgive my foolish start
I'm hidden in the forest
trying hard to find my way
i'm not going to rest
until i'm with you once again
can you ever believe it
this promise i make to you
how will you receive it
do you think you can trust me
believe me when i tell you
i mean all that i say
it's hard to start anew
when i've made such a mess
i'm hidden in the forest
deep within my thicket green
am i doing my very best
to show myself to you
or am i merely content
to stay right here
to let the trees prevent
you from finding me
i'm hidden in the forest
wanting very much to come out
but i really must confess
i'm afraid of what you'll think of me
why have i strayed away
from the love you have for me
is this where i want to stay
or is it safe to step out
The wandering thoughts of a child of God, a wife, a mom to two homeschool graduates, one of which is a missionary wife bound for a foreign field, and a Grandma to the sweetest little girl! I'm a friend, a homemaker, a gardener, a woodwife of sorts, an aspiring herbalist, an artisan, crafter, and vintage gathering repurposer, the occasional writer of a fairytale or poem, lover of happy endings, somewhat of a hopeless romantic. I'm also interested in traditional, sustainable, homesteading skills.
August 22, 2010
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1 thoughts about my meanderings:
Reflections on hiding from the Lord.
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