August 2, 2010

conclusions cont.

I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately.  There's been a lot going on.  As I thought back over what I wrote earlier today about jumping to conclusions, I'd like to say that is the reason I ask so many questions; sometimes questions that may be personal.  I like to know what makes people they think...what their worldview is like.  If they look at something differently than I do, I want to know why.  Are they right, am I...wrong?  Should I reconsider my position on the issue at hand?  If it's an important idea, can I convince them that they need to rethink their stand?  Not because they have to think like I do (at least not all the time), but because it's something that I think is important to be clear about.  And most of the time, when I take the time to ask questions, I'm much more accurate in the conclusions I reach.  I guess that's the issue right there.  Jumping blindly or forming a conclusion based on knowledge.  Conclusions drawn from getting more information to understand the situation are not ones that I've jumped to but ones that have been reached through what I'll call "personal research" of another individual. Does that mean I'm slow to assess a situation on my own?  Well, maybe but "on my own" means based on my own understanding which can be completely wrong.  Not to pat my own back here but, there have been a good number of times when I have been fairly accurate in discerning what's going on in certain cases.  But other times when I couldn't have been farther from the truth.  Maybe the real issue here is whether or not I'm just a busy body!
But then there comes the faith issue.  Faith not only in God but in other people.  Yeah, sometimes I'm not very good at that.  I'm a fixer. If something is not "right" for someone I care about, I want to fix it if I can.  Not that I'm not willing to let them fix it on their own but if they're not making any attempt to do that then I'm guilty of stepping in.  It may be a twisted way to look at it but in my own mind, if I can fix it for them, I've been blessed by ministering to their needs.  I'm mothering, even to people outside my family, whether they want it or not!  Hey, that may be another faulty conclusion but that's the way I see it and for all intents and purposes, I'm doing it out of love.  Or is it a control issue?  No, I don't think so.  I've been around enough of that to recognise that sort of behavior and trust me, there's no love in it.  But what happens when I'm not around to fix things?  I've cheated them out of the learning experience needed to work it out the next time.  Regardless of how clear the solution might be to me, some people don't learn from advice or from personal experiences of others.  They have to learn things the hard way, through trial and error and pain.  That is hard to sit back and watch if you think you know the answer.  However, it's not my goals they are working toward but hopefully, God's plan for their life.  Unfortunately, those plans are not revealed to busy bodies like me!  But all the two cents worth of advice that I give might add up to a small fortune if you play your cards right.  And lets get something straight right here; If you are someone I care about, your problems are my business, like it or not!   It comes with the package. 
But I do what I can with the very best intentions for those I love. I hope they can look close enough to draw the right conclusions about that!

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