February 29, 2012

In Between

So...today is one of those in between days when you know things are gonna happen but you don't know if they're gonna be good or bad.

You've heard the old adage, "When it rains, it pours."haven't you?

Well, the storm is building, I can see the dark clouds just over the ridge and I'm standing out in the wind.  This week will tell whether it's gonna hit or blow over. I just hope my feet are firmly planted so I'm not swept away like debris in a flood or a cow in a tornado.

I don't like storms.  But they fascinate me.  The massive power and tremendous gathering of nature to form so formidable a force that cannot be contained is awesome.  Often devastating but awesome.

So, I guess it follows that I don't like strife, frustration, uncertainty...change.  I like things to stay comfortable but who doesn't.  But I also like a little control...to keep things flowing nicely...flood control to turn the tide...damage control to keep things from going too far...denial to protect me from pain...forgetfulness to put the hurtfulness behind me and lock it out.  Maybe you could call that selective memory.

I'm trying really hard to leave it all in God's hands but I'm willing to admit I'm scared.  If you read this and feel inclined to, please pray...I'd like to say pray that God will consider the desires of my/our heart and basically send a happy ending in about 4 situations that are coming to a head this week but I know that's not always the plan.  I know He is all powerful and could do that if He wanted to but I also know that He is all knowing and can see the big picture.  I can't do that so it may be hard for me to understand right now.

I guess the way to do it is to pray the prayer that never fails..."God's will be done."  And that He'll give me/us the "peace that passes all understanding."  And hope my desires line up with that enough to bring the answers I'd hoped for.  Not because I deserve it...I let Him down all the time...just because that's what He wants for me/us.

To ponder my way through all the "what if's" and possible scenarios searching for answers to my endless "why?" questions is my human nature but it's really pointless.  It only adds to the force of the wind and increases my unsteadiness.

Did I mention that I don't like storms?  That's the kind of awesome power I prefer to watch from a distance. You know what I mean... you can see the rain and feel the wind...the dark clouds look like they're looming right over your head and a few bits of hail fall against the window...but then it's gone as quickly as it came, choosing a different path than the one you're on...the sun sends its reassuring rays past the lingering storm clouds to let you know it's gonna be okay.  And then, the still silence as the wind calms and you walk outside to stand in the afterglow because you feel so much closer to God that way.

I'll be looking for those rays of sunshine this week and clinging to the hope that the storm will pass and we'll have weathered it well.

No matter how it plays out, I hope my response will be honoring to God and His love for me.

Pondering My Meanderings...
with much herbal love,

February 18, 2012

The Wall #37 and then some.

Jenny Matlock

Jenny's being spunky today with a dandy of a challenge ...because she's like that!  We don't have a word prompt to work into our tale but we have 6...yes, you read that right!...six words to write an "autobriefagraphical" or autobiography!  Yikes!

I don't want to break my streak of continuing the story of The Wall so here's a little truth about me that fits in with the theme and the story.

~ "Searching for answers, intrigued by history." ~

or aside from The Wall...

"Living my life moment by moment."

If you chose to say something about this post, and I dearly love hearing from you, my preference is a comment below.  But if you're having trouble, please email me instead.

Pondering My Meanderings... 
with much herbal love, 

February 14, 2012

The Wall #36

Jenny MatlockThis week we're using a prompt inspired by Jenny's world.  We have 100 words plus the prompt (total of 106) to write our tale.
Since this week is crazy with activity, I'll get right to it.
Here's my continuation of The Wall...

~ I couldn't help but notice the box on the sideboard next morning. It was full of pictures, books and various mementos.
After the dishes were cleared, we got up to go but Anna motioned for us to sit down. She pulled a photo album from the box and opened it to a faded photo of a young couple standing in front of a vintage fire engine. They were holding on to each other and smiling. It was Matthew and Anna. The wedding was at the firehouse and other photos showed family and friends gathered around the couple. One fellow, in particular, looked very familiar to me. ~

Pondering My Meanderings... 
with much herbal love, 

February 6, 2012

What Does Love Look Like?

Most young people today don't know about love.

They think love looks like sex.
They don't stop to enjoy the little intricate parts of love that make up a relationship.
Without any restraint, the entire premise of their togetherness becomes about sex.
And only about sex...can you really build a relationship on that alone?
Not one that lasts. Not one that will build you up and make you a better person
when you're with that someone than when you're alone.

So what does love look like?
It's friendship.
Like finding yourself or coming home.
It's challenging and comforting.
It's a safe place. 
Demanding your best and accepting your worst
A touch, a glance, a thought.
Not walking away each time things don't go your way. 
Striving to find a solution, together.
Give and take ~ equally. 
Communication!  Never doubting.  Always knowing.

Sometimes just knowing is enough.
It can take you through the toughest times.

Sometimes just being at the same place is comforting.
You know they're there if you need them.

Maybe it's feeling that your name is safe in their mouth.
They'll never say hurtful things about you or tarnish your character.

Working on something together, toward the same goal.
Feeling a sense of togetherness in the satisfaction of teamwork.

Or maybe turning to find them looking at you from across the room.
The sensual space of separation and the meaning of a look.

Standing next to that someone may be all you need to feel love.
The camaraderie of togetherness often needs no touch.

Then there's the language that holding hands can speak.
Volumes of energy flowing from one fingertip to another.

Or arms length apart, face to face, looking into his eyes
and him holding both of your hands in his strong grip.  

Often, a hand at your waist or elbow can send a tingling sense of safety
through your heart and mind.  Your protector is there for you.

Walking side by side, the closeness of an arm around your waist...
and yours around his...hanging on as though you'll never let go.

Next to each other on the couch, snuggling up with 
as much contact as possible without crossing the line.

An actual face to face embrace, kept for a tender goodnight or
a meaningful moment is like the world stood still.

And these two haven't even kissed yet!
But the romance is so thick you can feel it in the air.

Is it a little warm in here?

Flirtation becomes a game of excitement and strength.
Guidelines help each to feel safe with the other
while not being afraid to explore their feelings and
find ways to express them that don't revolve around any form of sex.
Not a game to see how far they can go without giving in, 
that can be a bit like Russian Roulette because there's no going back.
Sure sex crosses their mind or maybe even fills their thoughts at times,
it would be foolish to think it didn't. 
But they don't act on it.  Not even close.
The power of knowing your own sexuality and controlling it opens up a whole new world of feelings and understandings that can build and sustain a relationship without resulting in pressure to make a conquest until your ready to build a life together and marry.

C. S. Lewis puts it like this...
"A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means.  This is an obvious lie.  Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is."

"When an adolescent or an adult is engaged in resisting a conscious desire, he is not dealing with a repression nor is he in the least danger of creating a repression.  On the contrary, those who are seriously attempting chastity are more conscious and soon know a great deal more about their own sexuality than anyone else.  They come to know their desires as Wellington knew Napoleon, or as Sherlock Holmes knew Moriarty; as a rat catcher know rats or a plumber knows about leaky pipes.  Virtue ~ even attempted virtue ~  brings light; indulgence brings fog."

That kind of love sounds a whole lot more exciting and romantic than meeting a physical desire and walking away.  The game of real love never ends...it only gets better and expands with time.

Pondering My Meanderings... 
with much herbal love, 

February 4, 2012

The Wall #35

Jenny MatlockGood Morning!  It's been an unseasonably warm week here in central PA with temps reaching near 55° F a few days!  I'm sure we're in for a cold snap now that the groundhog has seen his shadow!  Yes, we're from the same neck of the woods as Punxsutawney Phil, the famous prognosticator!

Jenny's focusing on some important things at home this week and taking the prompt from Nonna's suggestions.  She's given us 100 words plus the prompt for a total of 105. Click on the button at the left to read other stories or share one of your own.

I'm still plugging away at my ongoing tale that started 35 weeks ago with a prompt about a wall and a generous 200 word allotment.  Thanks for following along as the story grows.

~The inn's library contained a few military books. Wally found Matthew's name in the register. He'd fought for the allies, too. We tried to steer the conversation toward his service days but he seemed quiet and thoughtful.

Later, He and Anna sat together in the study, talking, like two peas in a pod. We headed to our room around 10 PM. Matthew followed us, disappearing up a flight of narrow stairs behind a small door at the end of the passage.

We heard him scuffling through boxes and bits of furniture...then a loud click and a slow, grating creak as a rusty trunk lid opened. ~

Pondering My Meanderings... 
with much herbal love,

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