July 2, 2011

The Wall #4

~Pondering the letter, I wondered how much I should say about the key. Maybe it was just my memory playing tricks on me. There was a quick knock at the door. Feeling a bit nervous about my find, I didn't want company just now. After some fumbling with the lock, the door opened and a foppishly dressed, middle aged fellow I'd seen in the lobby breezed past me and moved quickly across the room.

Oh, say, can you see the mountains from your window?”, he blurted, looking surprised to find me there. “My room has a terrible view.”
Just then, everything went black... ~


Writing from the prompts of Jenny and friends @ Saturday Centus.

Since this is an ongoing story, I've been feeling terribly convicted about the controversy over splitting the prompt.  I've gone back and moved a few things around to remove the problem.  Corrections have been applied to The Wall page.  Here's the original sentence that's provoked some of the comments below: ~ "Oh, say," he blurted, looking surprised to find me there, "can you see the mountains from your window?  My room has a terrible view."~

Pondering My Meanderings,

Wanderer

17 thoughts about my meanderings:

The Woodswoman said...

O.K. .... wha'ja find??? Come on, you can tell me!! Good one.

cj Schlottman said...

Good that you took this in a direction other then the obvious!
I love the mystery of this.

Namaste..........cj

jeff campbell said...

Very interesting and creative take on the prompt...mysterious...I want to know more...Peace and blessings

Judie said...

VERY clever use of the prompt. I'm glad to see you continued your story. Now, let's have the rest!!

Anna said...

You split it! Can you really do that? Otherwise it's a great text.
Best wishes,
Anna
A Rainy Day in July-Anna's SC wk 61

Sue said...

I guess an itty bitty bit of prompt mischief is okay for such a good story!

;)

Wanderer said...

Lord willing, there's more to come. @ Anna - I didn't really split it into two sentences. I just dropped the "said by" part in the middle of the sentence that was spoken. Maybe the "C" in "Can" shouldn't be capitalized...fixed it. Thanks!

upinthecosmos said...

Great write. I think splitting the line is just fine:-)

Jaquandor said...

Cheating? I thought I was the only one who found ways around the "rules" of the Centus! :)

Dazee Dreamer said...

I thought this was a great piece. Good job. even tho you did cheat. :)

Jo said...

oh, I am just loving this continuation and the way you split the prompt ... darn i wish i had thought of that!!!

Wanderer said...

LOL! Thanks! Who knew a little punctuation could be so controversial? How is my use of the prompt different from the line Francis Scott Key wrote at the beginning of our national anthem? Guess we'll let Jenny make the final call on the acceptability of the, so called, "split" in the prompt. Ma'am?

Tgoette said...

Oh, nicely done continuation! I love a good mystery! Great job!

Jenny said...

Ummm...

Ummm...

Gosh...

Ummm...

This is what I think. The prompts are guidelines to inspire you, shake your muse up, and make you write even when you don't feel like it.

If the muse speaks to you with punctuation, by all means...

I am not quite courageous enough to stand between a writer and the words in their soul. I suspect it is a place as fraught with danger and the dirt between a mother bear and her cub...

So...

I'm just gonna say...I love this ongoing story.

You, my dear, are a joy to read...no matter what you do with the prompt!

Thanks for linking!

Wanderer said...

Ho! Ho! Very diplomatic, Ma'am! Thanks for the inspiration and for hosting such a fun linky! I'll try to behave from now on. ;)

Wanderer said...

BTW - thanks for all the comments on this little ditty. Hope I can keep the story going.

Karen S. said...

Oh no a terrible view...but what else could there be.....great use of the prompt...very cool!

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