August 2, 2010

Jumping to...false conclusions

I'm ashamed to admit that one huge issue that I deal with occasionally is jumping to conclusions.  Sometimes, eventually, it turns out I was right but every now and then, because I'm still just a sinner saved by grace, I'm...wrong.  They say that women have an intuition about things and I think its true in most cases.  But sometimes we're way off base.  Not that I have any excuse to do it but I guess in trying to pin down what's happening I just have trouble believing in the good side of things, especially when I've seen a pattern developing.  Of course, that is completely unfair because I don't have an exclusive track to God's grace so that my life is the only one He works in.  I've seen the bad side so many times that I am suspicious and distrustful...sometimes with good reason but others unjustly.  One reason might be that I've always felt so undeserving of good things that I see no reason why they would happen to me.  Silly for a child of God, I know.  When I step back and take a good look at what I'm thinking, I can see that some of it comes from jealousy, some from past hurts, some from feeling inadequate and some of it from not waiting on Gods timing.  I allow frustration to take control of me and that lets the sinful side running the show.  There are always two sides to an issue and not understanding what the motives or background is can make for a lot of mistakes and faulty thinking.  You know, the whole shoulder angel thing. 
And not only do I jump to false conclusions, I share my conclusions with others infecting them with the poison of the mistake I've made by making my deductions based on the part of the story I know rather than the whole tale. 
I'm putting these things at the foot of the throne in an effort to keep them out of my life.  But, as with most sins and worries, in my weakness I'll probably go back and pick them up again in a moment of misunderstanding or confusion.  Trouble with all this is that when I jump to a false conclusion it often involves someone else and my ignorance hurts them for which I am truly sorry. Truly.

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