If I'm so tired, why can't I sleep?

October 1, 2010

If I'm so tired, why can't I sleep?

I don't understand how I can be so very tired and yet so wide awake. Makes no sense whatsoever. I'm exhausted when I go to bed but here I am about 4 hours later, wandering around the house trying to be quiet.
Long day yesterday and a long one in store. Makes me even more tired just thinking about it. I guess worries make things harder because once the edge of my fatique has worn off, the pressing worries that are a part of my life right now prevail, bringing them to the fore front and pushing sleep aside. Not good in the long run. I'm thinking that I'm anemic again and that might have something to do with it. Hopefully, I'll find out for sure before the weekend.
I'd like to take a break from my problems but since that isn't going to happen, I'm turning them over to the Lord. I'd like to say that takes them away but it doesn't. It does make them easier to think about because I know that I don't have to go through them alone. And of course, being the person that I am, I'll go back and pick hem up again, at least for a time because I'm impatient. It's hard to wait on the Lord's timing for good things but it's even harder to wait on His timing to fix problems. Some folks might say that I'm not faithful enough, but I like to think of it as reality. Not because I think that's a good excuse, just because for me that's being honest.
I know He will never leave me or forsake me and I trust in that but I can't help wondering what's going to happen and if I'll respond the way I should. It's great to say that I'm giving this body of mine to God with the idea in mind that He will "fix" it. It's easy to ignore the idea that He might not. It's also easy to say that it's going to be okay but I'm still scared.
Maybe just admitting that was a big step 'cuz it feels like a dam just burst somewhere inside. I'm sorry that I let go of your hand Lord. Can you reach down here and pull me out? Again.

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What's this all about?

Keeping a journal or diary has never been easy for me. I loved the idea of it but remembering to do it daily was a problem. Then I'd feel guilty; procrastinating, thinking I'd make it up the next day only to find that a week had flown by without so much as a word from me! The worst part was that I couldn't remember some of the clever things I'd planned to say about the mundane experiences I'd had that made me...well, me. I think I'm a different person than I was all those years ago...expanding on old interests and learning new ones...teaching my little women and learning from them as well.

That time was longer ago than I care to think about. But the idea of putting down my thoughts where I can find them again has been ruminating lately so I decided to try it again in a newfangled context. What follows are the occasionally profound (said with tongue in cheek), often tedious, possibly interesting wanderings of a thoughtful mind.

Perhaps some of the musings that pass this way will inspire you, touch your heart, or brighten your day. So keep an open mind as you ponder my meanderings.

Ponderings of others

"If I'd never met you, I wouldn't like you; and if I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you; and if I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you, but I did, I do and I will."

"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous." ~Ingrid Bergman

"A true man does not need to romance a different girl every night. A true man will romance the same girl for the rest of his life." ~Ana Alas

"Love grows by giving."

"The love we give away is the only love we keep."

"The only way to retain love is to give it away." ~Elbert Hubbard

"A smile is almost always inspired by another smile." ~A

"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul." ~Judy Garland

"Love can make you do things that you never thought possible." ~Phil Collins

"The kiss~a sweet discovery of oneself after a long search." ~A
"Love is, above all, the gift of oneself." ~Jean Anouih

"If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving be me."~W. H. Auden

"Love is the only true adventure." ~A

"If you think you've given something your all, but your all is all about you, then you haven't truly given anything." ~A. Gimbledorf

"You don't love someone for their looks, their clothes or their fancy car but because they sing a song that only you can hear."

"Unless your heart, your soul and your whole being are behind every decision you make, the words from your mouth will be empty, and each action will be meaningless. Truth and confidence are the roots of happiness."

"Until one is commited, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness...." ~William Hutchinson Murray

"Life is confusing enough; Let's try not to muddy the waters with obscure statements that make folks scratch their heads in bewilderment." ~A. Gimbledorf

Ponder My Meanderings

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October 1, 2010