July 31, 2010


As you may have guessed, or more accurately, learned from my meanderings, I don't handle change well.  I'm game for new things as long as the status quo stays the same.  When changes occur that stir things up a lot, I tend to get antsy.  I guess that means I'm not a very spontaneous person.  But, I hope I'm not a stick in the mud either.  I'm probably experiencing the same things most families do when their first child goes off to college.  You are never prepared for that feeling...that loss.  It's harder to stay in the same situation with major changes than it is to go off into a completely new life.  It's a little easier for the child because they are facing a world that is full of new experiences and learning and friendships that will help make them into the adults of the future.  Hopefully you've trained them well and they will make good choices and develop strong relationships that will help them through any difficult times when you can't be there for them as you have in the past.  It's nice to be able to take comfort in the companionship of good friends when you're feeling sad or alone.  Sometimes they are fortunate enough to take those relationships with them and even if they don't find any bosom friends right away, they can take refuge and comfort in the closeness and strength of those childhood friends.  The great news is that if they have a relationship with their heavenly father, He'll be there with them to comfort and encourage them.  It's an exciting time ahead and while I'll miss her very much, I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for her.  I've given up thinking that I could begin to figure that out.  I've been wrong before.

On a different note; other changes occur on the home front and leave many regrets and sorrows behind for those remaining to handle.  I'm not speaking of kids leaving for college now.  All the wishes and prayers in the world won't change a situation that doesn't want changing...or will they?  Disappointments and unfulfilled dreams have a way of sapping all our strength.  People you thought you could count on let you down and there's no way you can not experience an overshadowing coloring of all your future thoughts and feelings unless you put those things behind you.  I guess that's called growing. 
All life's experiences make you who you are but I can't help but wonder how much of that has to do with our strength of character to begin with.  I know that all these things have to do with our relationship with our heavenly father.  It doesn't matter how much knowledge we have about what God can do if we're separated from him by our own pride.  Yep, that's what it is...pride. Can we give up our self centered focus to look at things through God colored glasses and put our lives in His hands?  He will guide us and direct us, it's true, but I don't think we're on autopilot. I believe we need to respond to His guidance by making choices that honor Him and glorify Him, or we can make choices that glorify ourselves and miss the blessings He has in store for us. 
So which experiences have the most influences on our lives?  The good or the bad?  It depends on our perspective.  Is it more "romantic" to allow ourselves to be the victim of our circumstances, the oppressed, trapped in cages of our own making or does it show more strength to strive to rise above them and reach for the prize?  What if we wallow in the bad ones and lose out on more good ones because we are so absorbed that we are sucked into self pity that robs us of our joy?  It becomes a never ending spiral.  It's easy to allow the bad ones to overpower us and cause us to act in ways that destroy even the best of good experiences.  Stealing our joy and replacing it with longing and regrets...disappointments and sorrow...self doubt and discouragement that leads to a vicious cycle that pulls us away from the things we long for the most. God never promised that our lives would be easy or filled with all happy endings if we follow Him but if we allow only the bad experiences to color our worldview, we're missing out on so much!  Remember that all things work together for good to those who love Him.  It just might not be as easy to see from inside our own little bubble.  But in the end, when we can see the plan laid out before us, maybe we'll begin to understand some of the things that puzzled us before.  I sure hope so.
So, yeah...what color is your bubble?

1 thoughts about my meanderings:

wanderer said...

Today, mine is blue/grey.

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