wandering? no... wondering... or both?

July 11, 2010

wandering? no... wondering... or both?

As I ponder the things that happen, I have to ask..."Why?" I know, I know...I'm not supposed to wonder why let alone have the audacity to ask. But I can't help it. Sometimes the reason seems so clear to me and I can go along thinking, "Yeah, it's all coming together and I know where this is headed." And I'm fine with that. It's the times when things seem to be coming together and then take a turn I wasn't expecting that really throw me off. Especially when it's a turn for the worse. That's when I ask. "Why?" "What's going on?" What did I do wrong?" "What am I supposed to learn?" Ahhhh! I feel so humble, so stupid, so alone when that happens. That's when I need to draw nearer to Him instead of allowing my "whys" to come between us. I don't mean to let them do that but they do.

My life seems to meander along and I'd like to think I'm fairly easy going. Until I feel the need to ask why. Why do things happen that make me sad or uncomfortable and why don't things happen that I've really been hoping for? Maybe even praying for. More work required on my part? OK. More patience? Probably. More faith? Ouch! Not asking for the right things? Needing to get my life right with God before I can even hope that He will hear, let alone answer my prayers? More than likely. Perhaps the thing I need to ask is not, "Why?" but "Help?"

I've often heard the phrase, "The Lord works in mysterious ways." I can accept that. But I wish He's let me in on the secret or the goal. Not because I deserve it. Just because I'm not good at surprises. Well, good, happy surprises are okay. It's the "not so good" ones that take a little more adjusting. And I can do that with His help. So why is it so hard to ask for it?

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What's this all about?

Keeping a journal or diary has never been easy for me. I loved the idea of it but remembering to do it daily was a problem. Then I'd feel guilty; procrastinating, thinking I'd make it up the next day only to find that a week had flown by without so much as a word from me! The worst part was that I couldn't remember some of the clever things I'd planned to say about the mundane experiences I'd had that made me...well, me. I think I'm a different person than I was all those years ago...expanding on old interests and learning new ones...teaching my little women and learning from them as well.

That time was longer ago than I care to think about. But the idea of putting down my thoughts where I can find them again has been ruminating lately so I decided to try it again in a newfangled context. What follows are the occasionally profound (said with tongue in cheek), often tedious, possibly interesting wanderings of a thoughtful mind.

Perhaps some of the musings that pass this way will inspire you, touch your heart, or brighten your day. So keep an open mind as you ponder my meanderings.

Ponderings of others

"If I'd never met you, I wouldn't like you; and if I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you; and if I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you, but I did, I do and I will."

"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous." ~Ingrid Bergman

"A true man does not need to romance a different girl every night. A true man will romance the same girl for the rest of his life." ~Ana Alas

"Love grows by giving."

"The love we give away is the only love we keep."

"The only way to retain love is to give it away." ~Elbert Hubbard

"A smile is almost always inspired by another smile." ~A

"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul." ~Judy Garland

"Love can make you do things that you never thought possible." ~Phil Collins

"The kiss~a sweet discovery of oneself after a long search." ~A
"Love is, above all, the gift of oneself." ~Jean Anouih

"If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving be me."~W. H. Auden

"Love is the only true adventure." ~A

"If you think you've given something your all, but your all is all about you, then you haven't truly given anything." ~A. Gimbledorf

"You don't love someone for their looks, their clothes or their fancy car but because they sing a song that only you can hear."

"Unless your heart, your soul and your whole being are behind every decision you make, the words from your mouth will be empty, and each action will be meaningless. Truth and confidence are the roots of happiness."

"Until one is commited, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness...." ~William Hutchinson Murray

"Life is confusing enough; Let's try not to muddy the waters with obscure statements that make folks scratch their heads in bewilderment." ~A. Gimbledorf

Ponder My Meanderings

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July 11, 2010