February 28, 2010

Meandering again...still.

There are at least 6 or 7 different threads of thought trying to travel round in my mind right now. But the worst is that they all want priority...each thinks they should be first and foremost. Well, I am and have been a multitasker...I am a mom after all but thinking and doing are different. A couple are worries, one is guilt, others responsibilities, and not all are negative. But it still feels like chaos in here.
We'll be traveling this week and I'm praying for safety, if you read this, would you please do the same? I'm a little anxious about this trip, like how it will go and what it will mean. These last few weeks will probably have a big impact on at least the near future. Who knows how things will turn out.
Both of our cars are fairly old but they've served us well. I'm praying that we will be able to get a lot more time/miles out of them but I'm not sure. I know it's a blessing to have two cars and I'm ever so thankful for the service they've given us.
There is one responsibility that I should be taking care of at this stage in my life but it is impossible to do...or at least it seems that way.
How can you help someone who doesn't want your help; or does but refuses to accept it? How can you care for someone who is continually pushing you away?
Too many things. And I'm not content to put them down before the throne and leave them there. I keep going back and picking them up again, as if I can do a better job on my own. Hah! Yes, we can see how well I've done so far.
Swirling and whirling and meandering. Help!
Will there be a strike? Can I let go? What if things don't work out? How will we get by? What should I do? Why do I feel so terrible physically? Why can't I remember?

Only by His grace.

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