March 11, 2012

I don't know why.

Sometimes it's hard to see where things are going.
You might think you know but then life takes a turn you never saw coming.
Sometimes they are awesome blessings and sometimes, merely postponements of the inevitable.
And sometimes they are trials.
If you've been reading here for a while you know that I often struggle with the
"whys" behind the things that happen.  Not really because I don't trust God to do His will in my life but because I'm a bit of a control freak or maybe just a nib.  I'm good with God's plan but I'd like to have a heads-up so I know what to expect.  Is that too much to ask?  I guess it is.
Anyway, as I've said before, it seems like every time I make plans to do something, especially something that includes other people, something more important happens that requires my attention and I have to let them down.  I just hate doing that!  There's no way I could see what was coming or prevented myself from entering into the situation.  It wasn't something I jumped into...I prayed about it many time before hand.  And if I wasn't meant to do it, I wonder why the door did't close earlier.  I mean, if the reason I had to step away from things was because I wasn't supposed to be a part of it, why did I earn my spot in the first place?  See what I mean?  I need answers to the "why" questions.
But my 16yo had it all figured out and explained to me in that parental voice she adopts when she knows something I haven't figured out yet.  I gotta tell's kinda annoying even when she's right!  But I'm sure she feels that way when I know something she doesn't know.

It's been kinda crazy the past few weeks and you know that saying about things happening in threes?  Well, the first turn in the road was diverted for a time and we're thankful for that.
Prayers for blessings when the time comes and help to maintain until that time.
The next one is kinda ongoing and it's something that I pray about all the time.
But this one, well, I'm kinda the support group for this one.  Prayerfully hanging onto God's hand as this sharp turn goes off into unknown, scary territory.

Anyway, God knows best and maybe it's His way of correcting my little steps to realign them with His will for my life.  It's comforting to know that He can see the big picture and has a spot all set up for me.
It's even more comforting to know that He will be right beside us all the way because this turn in the road is a trial.  May I be a light for Jesus all through this situation and perhaps someone may find Him through me.

Pondering My Meanderings... 
with much herbal love, 

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