October 27, 2011

Late Night Meandering

It's been a while.  I wish I knew what's changed to make this crazy sleep pattern my reality...again.  For a while, I was sleeping very well, waking refreshed and feeling good.  Now, a change....again.  Could it be stress?  Could it be worry?  And yet there's been a greater amount of joy in my life lately, too.  Wouldn't that offset any worry I have?  Maybe not.
I really miss my oldest daughter.  I hate not being able to jump in the car and drive down to see her.  But it's too far for a 1 day trip, which costs a lot anyway.  Then to stay over, it's just not in my budget.  I'd like to help her fund her missions trip so I'm saving any money I may have spent on extra trips for that.  I'm praying for a great trip, good memories, inspirational experiences and safety.  I'm trying to put her in God's hands and leave her there but, well...even though I mean to do it, I find it increasingly hard to follow through.  But, since she's nearing 21, and making decisions for herself with our guidance and thoughts in consideration, the best I can do is pray and let God.  He's brought a young man into her life that seems like a near perfect match...except for a few things that are fairly important.  God has the power to change lives and guide hearts so, again, I'm trying to let God.  I have to believe He's made these connections for a reason but I've jumped to the wrong conclusions in this area before.  The difference is in the way she feels about it. 

I do need to pay a little better attention to myself.  Make sure I'm eating well, exercising and getting the supplements I should have to combat this wretched, miserable season of health.

My youngest is entering an exciting time in her life.  A childhood friend has suddenly begun to look more like a young man she'd consider as a suitor than a brother.  A pleasant, yet disarming change of affection.  It's fun to be a part of it and watch it unfold.  It makes me laugh because her sister has been pointing out the virtues of this fellow for over a year but she couldn't get past the brotherly friendship they've always shared.  And apparently, it's been on his mind for a while too.  But he was unsure about her response and held back.  Ah, what a beautiful thing to watch the realization and cultivation of these newly found thoughts and feelings.    But I have to say that he has all the right answers and has really given the entire situation a lot of thought.  It makes me feel a bit more at ease to know that it's not just a random dating choice and that even at a relatively young age, he took the time to think about making this a meaningful relationship before acting.
The scary part is she's been hurt before so it's kinda hard to relax into it the way she needs to and I've been fooled before because I'm such a hopeless romantic.  But he's so good to her in so many different ways that he kinda melts your heart.  I guess time will tell.  Our dating rules/guidelines are a little more strict than his family's so it may put a strain on the next year as he gets more freedom and she doesn't.  Knowing the rules going in should help but let's hope peer pressure doesn't influence his choices.  It hasn't so far.
One thing that makes this a little easier for her is that he's recently become a Christian, which she's been praying for since she's known him.  Maybe that's what changed the way they look at each other.  He finally understands what she believes.  They're on the same page...on so many things.  But there are things they are not on the same page about, too.  Things they have lots of time to sort through and learn about each other.

Well, my eyes are getting heavy again so I think I'll try to get more sleep.  

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