December 18, 2010

You never know

Life can be surprising, to be sure.  Sometimes pleasantly so and sometimes not.  When it comes to reaching out to others, I think I should go with my gut instinct.  There's something about a hurting soul that can be so clear and then it can be so hidden that you don't want to assume anything and you let it go. 
I'm feeling the regret of not following my instincts over the past months.  Looking back, I can see several indicators that should have been a tip off knowing what I know now.  But at the time, I just thought that maybe it was a tender spirit that needed to talk a little and I listened and encouraged without actually doing anything.  But I always had this nagging feeling that there was more to the story than meets the eye. Turns out it was someone in need of help.  Thankfully, the thoughts came out in another arena and were very clear this time.  Intervention was done and I'm hoping some love and understanding will mend this heart.
But from the outside looking in, I never would have guessed at the depth of the hurt.  Yes, I knew it was there and having been through some pretty hurtful things myself, I thought I should do more but wasn't sure of my place.  I'm kicking myself now and praying that I won't make that mistake again.  Better to step out of bounds and be put back than to watch from the safety of my little box while someone thinks about taking serious actions to end their pain, even though I didn't know that and do nothing for fear I'll step on someone's toes.  Much better.  And if I make a fool of myself or lose friends, who cares if I've helped a friend in need.   Who cares if I try to help even when there isn't a problem.  Right now, not me. 

Sometimes a brave soul can only bear to give out little hints at the misery they are facing because they don't want anyone to think they can't handle it or that they are not trusting God.  But that brave soul wrapped in one of the nicest personalities you could meet, might have a tender heart inside that needs some love and attention.  And if they don't get it from the people they expected to get it from, they can't see their own worth.  Wow!, that hits closer to home than I care to think about.  The pain is clearer to me now and I'm wondering why I didn't realise what was happening. Or why I hesitated when I suspected there might be more to it.  I'm so tired of second guessing myself.  Call it intuition, or gut instinct, or insight; I'm willing to admit that it all comes from God so why do I drag my feet?

To God be the glory for the answer to this hurting soul that kept them from harm.  I'm prayerfully asking to be a better part of their lives; one that stops thinking about what someone else might think and just follows my gut.  Dear Lord, guide my heart in the way it should go and make me more keenly aware of the times when I need to be a reflection of you or even a physical you to someone in need and give me the courage to just do it.  For them and me.


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