Pondering

You know, it's often hard to accept the things that become a bigger part of our lives than we thought they would.  Like dealing with the huge feeling of confusion or overwhelming, unspoken pressure to take an action or fulfill a task. I've only experienced this big feeling twice...at least twice accompanied with peace.  I believe that was the breath of God.  And in hindsight, those are the most likely to give us blessings.  Whether the blessing comes from the feeling of satisfaction that accompanies a job completed and well done or from the refocus and dedication you need to find in order to forge ahead on the path that's been outlined for you is often hard to pinpoint.  In my experience, those two times were both leading me to take an action that was against my better judgement...something I would never have seen my self doing.  And while one was extremely bittersweet, I believe it was for the best.  The other, extremely enjoyable and fulfilling even though it required tremendous amounts of time.  I can't say that I deserve any credit for beginning either one of these adventures.  But the strength to do both came from the One who planted the roadblocks or opened the doors that led me down the path I am following. 
Sometimes I look for answers and it's often hard to find one that satisfies all my queries.  Sometimes it's better if I just follow along and focus on being strong even when I feel so weak.