Keeping my head above water

July 8, 2010

Keeping my head above water

Warning - personal thoughts.

Sometimes I feel as if I'm drowning. Too many things to deal with and not enough...what? What is it that I don't have enough of? Energy? Faith? Trust? I don't know. All I can say is that I'm tired and find it very difficult to keep my head above water.

Seems the more I put into something, the less I get out of it. Maybe that's not the right goal to have. I mean if I expect to get something in return, I may as well expect to be disappointed nearly every time. But, if I don't expect anything, I won't be let down...more than likely, I won't be any further ahead either.

Is it wrong to want something for myself? Should I only be concerned with the wants and needs of others? Is it wrong to make time to sit down to read or knit when there are so many things that need to be done? How about taking a break to sit in the sun for a 1/2 hour or drink tea? Or writing here; is it just a waste of time? What if others think so? Does it matter? Should it matter? If I don't do anything for myself, what will happen to me if the few people who need me stop needing me? Am I invisible?

I think I have some sorting out to do. Some ideas that need to be looked at from a different point of view. 'Cuz if I don't, I think I'll just sink without any hope of surfacing again.

4 thoughts about my meanderings:

Unknown said...: Totally get where you are coming from and I read a quote from Janis Joplin the other day,"I must be an optimist because a pessimist never get's let down:)"
Keep on keeping on and enjoy some sumemrtime to yourself! No shame in that it is recharge and fuel up time:); July 8, 2010 at 10:14 AM
Sharon said...: Thanks, Molly. It's just too much sometimes and then I get my head on straight again. <3; July 8, 2010 at 8:17 PM
Missy said...: Throwing you a rubber ducky to float on!! Love ya.
Or better yet I'll share mine come over I will feed and water my kids and we can dish on each others troubles and break out Marks new maple wine. Oh.. I guess you probably should have your own ducky if we do that. HAHA Been where your at!!; July 8, 2010 at 9:37 PM
Sharon said...: <3 Thanks, Missy!; July 9, 2010 at 6:31 AM

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What's this all about?

Keeping a journal or diary has never been easy for me. I loved the idea of it but remembering to do it daily was a problem. Then I'd feel guilty; procrastinating, thinking I'd make it up the next day only to find that a week had flown by without so much as a word from me! The worst part was that I couldn't remember some of the clever things I'd planned to say about the mundane experiences I'd had that made me...well, me. I think I'm a different person than I was all those years ago...expanding on old interests and learning new ones...teaching my little women and learning from them as well.

That time was longer ago than I care to think about. But the idea of putting down my thoughts where I can find them again has been ruminating lately so I decided to try it again in a newfangled context. What follows are the occasionally profound (said with tongue in cheek), often tedious, possibly interesting wanderings of a thoughtful mind.

Perhaps some of the musings that pass this way will inspire you, touch your heart, or brighten your day. So keep an open mind as you ponder my meanderings.

Ponderings of others

"If I'd never met you, I wouldn't like you; and if I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you; and if I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you, but I did, I do and I will."

"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous." ~Ingrid Bergman

"A true man does not need to romance a different girl every night. A true man will romance the same girl for the rest of his life." ~Ana Alas

"Love grows by giving."

"The love we give away is the only love we keep."

"The only way to retain love is to give it away." ~Elbert Hubbard

"A smile is almost always inspired by another smile." ~A

"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul." ~Judy Garland

"Love can make you do things that you never thought possible." ~Phil Collins

"The kiss~a sweet discovery of oneself after a long search." ~A
"Love is, above all, the gift of oneself." ~Jean Anouih

"If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving be me."~W. H. Auden

"Love is the only true adventure." ~A

"If you think you've given something your all, but your all is all about you, then you haven't truly given anything." ~A. Gimbledorf

"You don't love someone for their looks, their clothes or their fancy car but because they sing a song that only you can hear."

"Unless your heart, your soul and your whole being are behind every decision you make, the words from your mouth will be empty, and each action will be meaningless. Truth and confidence are the roots of happiness."

"Until one is commited, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness...." ~William Hutchinson Murray

"Life is confusing enough; Let's try not to muddy the waters with obscure statements that make folks scratch their heads in bewilderment." ~A. Gimbledorf

Ponder My Meanderings

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July 8, 2010