I've been thinking about a lot of things lately. Have you ever thought about the words to the old but ever popular hymn, "Amazing Grace?" It's one of my favorites. It's especially moving, even without words, when it's played on the bagpipe. I have a friend who plays it beautifully and blessed our congregation by playing it in our church while visiting. Sent chills up my spine.
"Amazing Grace" - the fact that any one would show grace to me when I can be so wretched is absolutely amazing.
"How sweet the sound" - it's such a blessing to my heart to hear that promise.
"That saved a wretch like me" - I am so undeserving.
"I once was lost" - born with a sinful nature I was separated from God forever.
"But now am found" - Christ's death paid the penalty and when I put my faith in Him, it removed the barrier that separated me from God.
"Was blind" - Sometimes it's hard to see the folly and sinfulness because we want to believe that we are really good at heart.
"But now I see" - Once our eyes are opened to our sinful condition and we reach out to accept, through faith, the payment He made on our behalf, we can also begin to see the Glory of our God.
It's such a peaceful feeling to rest in the promises of our heavenly Father. Just knowing that I no longer have to face the joys and trials of life alone gives me a feeling of surrender. Not giving up, but allowing Him to rule my life.
He chose me but it doesn't stop there, I have to accept.
One way to look at it is like a team. You can be chosen for a certain team but you don't have to be on that team if you don't want. You have to agree to play for them before you can reap the benefits of the championship. And that leads me to another of my favorite songs that I especially enjoy hearing Gerald Wolfe sing, "Champion of Love."
October 31, 2010
October 28, 2010
Wisdom
Hey, real quick, here's the link for Chip Ingram's radio cast today from Living On The Edge. It's about how we can know God's message for our daily lives. Chip seems to be a little hot headed. I can relate. His message really spoke to me today so I thought I'd pass it on. I know there are some of you who have been pondering this point along with me so here's Chip's msg. http://bit.ly/diHLT
October 26, 2010
Bummer #2
Last week was Fall break so we had our Goosie home for a few days. That's my saving grace in this situation. This coming weekend is Fall Family weekend and we were planning to go down to see her. Well, the whole thing has been an uphill battle. First, we thought we weren't going to have the means to go because I am no longer working as a part time helper. Then through some creative bill arrangement, we thought we could make it work. Now, her schedule has changed with the beginning of rehearsal for the Christmas Play and she will be tied up most of Saturday. That leaves us with a little time Friday and Saturday evenings. We've talked it all over and in light of the tight means we find ourselves in right now, we've decided that making a trip for a few hours doesn't make good sense.
In just a few weeks, she'll be home for Thanksgiving and a few weeks after that, she'll be home for the Christmas holidays and a month long semester break. In between the holiday breaks, we'll be traveling down to see her play. So, this trip was really just for fun but I was looking forward to it. All that to say that it's kinda a bummer.
In just a few weeks, she'll be home for Thanksgiving and a few weeks after that, she'll be home for the Christmas holidays and a month long semester break. In between the holiday breaks, we'll be traveling down to see her play. So, this trip was really just for fun but I was looking forward to it. All that to say that it's kinda a bummer.
October 25, 2010
It's a long, long road
"It's a long, long road with many a winding turn that leads us to who knows where...who knows where?"
Sometimes I feel like I'm going in circles trying to accomplish things and ending up right back where I started. That can be a little discouraging after a while but eventually things straighten out and I can see a glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel.
But it's such a tiny glimpse.
Sometimes I feel like I'm going in circles trying to accomplish things and ending up right back where I started. That can be a little discouraging after a while but eventually things straighten out and I can see a glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel.
But it's such a tiny glimpse.
October 24, 2010
Bummer
Well, since Goosie's laptop isn't working, we can't skype, email or facebook. She can't load pictures or look at mine. She can't check her blackboard unless she uses someone else's computer or goes to the C-lab. Bummer.
October 22, 2010
Chapter 2 cont.
Next morning, she opened the door to let in the warm sunlight and was startled to see a haunch of venison hanging from a tree near the house. Jumping in surprise, she closed the door partway and peeked around the jamb to take another look. There wasn't anyone around but the venison was accompanied by another bouquet of wild flowers. This one tied with a silk ribbon and a note which read, “Thank you for your tender care of my hand after I carelessly fell into the fire. Your attentions were greatly appreciated. Please accept this venison as payment for the services you rendered me and for your care of Dynny. Philip”
She smiled and looked around the forest for a glimpse of her benefactor but found none.
Still smiling, Gweneth took the meat down and went inside to prepare it for storage. She found herself singing as she cut the meat into strips for drying and built up the fire to cook a pot of stew with the tubers she'd dug in the forest, a few wild carrots and some leeks. As the aroma filled the cottage, she pulled out some bread that had been rising in the cupboard and opened the door to the stone oven above the fireplace. After testing the temperature by sticking her hand inside quickly, she thought it warm enough to bake. Placing the loaves inside, she quickly closed the door and began to prepare the pie crust. This would be a meal fit for a king!
In return for the help she'd given her friends, they'd left a bit of honey, a basket of eggs, a bag of flour, a large piece of suet and a pitcher of milk. My, what she could do with all this bounty! Since some of these things were not easily found, she wanted to preserve them for use in the winter when the snow would limit her foraging and travel.
But in the crisp morning air of this fine autumn day, she felt like celebrating. The forest was full of end of the season berries, and there were a few old apple trees near the other end of the clearing where the village had stood. She could dry them to use later. There were more tubers to dig and wood to gather for the fire so she'd work up quite an appetite by the time she was ready to eat all the wonderful food that was filling her little cottage with mouth watering smells.
The stew was simmering, the bread was baking and the pie was cooling on the window sill. Fresh water from the spring was steeping in the sun with mint leaves picked along the edge of the woods. She hadn't had this much food in a long time. Feeling rather selfish to have prepared so much for only herself, she longed for company. There was just enough time to stop by the nearest farm to invite the mother and two small children to come for dinner. Knowing the farmer to be away from home for a few days, she started out the door. As she turned the corner, she came face to face with the mama bear and saw the cubs standing on their hind legs trying to reach the pie on the sill. Slowly, she backed away but the bear could smell the delicious food and followed her. Running quickly in the door and closing it behind her with a bang, she let out a sigh of relief. Remembering the pie in the open window, she ran to save it from the marauding bears and closed the panes. She could see their little faces looking up at her from just below the window. Their expressions were priceless and she couldn't help laughing.
Her laughter was short lived, however. She could hear the mama bear scratching and thumping against the wooden door. The house was old and in need of some repair. She wasn't sure how much of an attack it could stand. Suddenly she heard shouting and the drumming of horses hooves outside. There weren't any windows on that side of the house and being afraid to open the door, she could only wonder what was happening.
She smiled and looked around the forest for a glimpse of her benefactor but found none.
Still smiling, Gweneth took the meat down and went inside to prepare it for storage. She found herself singing as she cut the meat into strips for drying and built up the fire to cook a pot of stew with the tubers she'd dug in the forest, a few wild carrots and some leeks. As the aroma filled the cottage, she pulled out some bread that had been rising in the cupboard and opened the door to the stone oven above the fireplace. After testing the temperature by sticking her hand inside quickly, she thought it warm enough to bake. Placing the loaves inside, she quickly closed the door and began to prepare the pie crust. This would be a meal fit for a king!
In return for the help she'd given her friends, they'd left a bit of honey, a basket of eggs, a bag of flour, a large piece of suet and a pitcher of milk. My, what she could do with all this bounty! Since some of these things were not easily found, she wanted to preserve them for use in the winter when the snow would limit her foraging and travel.
But in the crisp morning air of this fine autumn day, she felt like celebrating. The forest was full of end of the season berries, and there were a few old apple trees near the other end of the clearing where the village had stood. She could dry them to use later. There were more tubers to dig and wood to gather for the fire so she'd work up quite an appetite by the time she was ready to eat all the wonderful food that was filling her little cottage with mouth watering smells.
The stew was simmering, the bread was baking and the pie was cooling on the window sill. Fresh water from the spring was steeping in the sun with mint leaves picked along the edge of the woods. She hadn't had this much food in a long time. Feeling rather selfish to have prepared so much for only herself, she longed for company. There was just enough time to stop by the nearest farm to invite the mother and two small children to come for dinner. Knowing the farmer to be away from home for a few days, she started out the door. As she turned the corner, she came face to face with the mama bear and saw the cubs standing on their hind legs trying to reach the pie on the sill. Slowly, she backed away but the bear could smell the delicious food and followed her. Running quickly in the door and closing it behind her with a bang, she let out a sigh of relief. Remembering the pie in the open window, she ran to save it from the marauding bears and closed the panes. She could see their little faces looking up at her from just below the window. Their expressions were priceless and she couldn't help laughing.
Her laughter was short lived, however. She could hear the mama bear scratching and thumping against the wooden door. The house was old and in need of some repair. She wasn't sure how much of an attack it could stand. Suddenly she heard shouting and the drumming of horses hooves outside. There weren't any windows on that side of the house and being afraid to open the door, she could only wonder what was happening.
Words and integrity
I've written here about the use of words and our responsibility to use them appropriately in the past. Here's a word to consider; integrity. Webster defines integrity as an unimpaired condition; firm adherence to a code, esp. moral or artistic values; incorruptibility; the quality or state of being complete or undivided. syn: honesty.
Psalms 26:1-2 reads: "Judge me, O Lord; for I have walked in mine integrity; I have trusted also in the Lord; therefore I shall not slide. Examine me, O Lord, and prove me; try my reins and my heart. I have walked in thy truth."
Prov. 11:3 says: "The integrity of the upright shall guide them."
2 Cor. 8:21: "Providing in honest things, not only in the sight of the Lord, but also in the sight of men."
The point of all this is to say that the use of words from our mouth or our pen (or keyboard) hold a responsibility to God and to our fellow man. No matter how elevated an opinion we have of ourselves and our station in life, or the career we strive for, we still have that responsibility. Perhaps those who influence the most people have even more responsibility to use words carefully. As musicians, authors, and speakers the words we use show a deeper understanding of our hearts and our worldview. As a result, the words we use, the subjects we discuss, the issues we raise are a true picture of what's inside us. The core of our heart's condition.
Point made and following up with the knowledge that as sinners, we'll be sure to make mistakes, use a colorful metaphor here and there, or laugh at a risque joke if we think no one is watching. But don't use the excuse that you have some special privilege to do so because you are an artist of one sort or another. We are not at the mercy of the world to allow them to dictate what subjects we will discuss or how low we'll stoop to grasp their attention by the use of offensive or misleading language. That's what the world says, is that who you represent?
Psalms 26:1-2 reads: "Judge me, O Lord; for I have walked in mine integrity; I have trusted also in the Lord; therefore I shall not slide. Examine me, O Lord, and prove me; try my reins and my heart. I have walked in thy truth."
Prov. 11:3 says: "The integrity of the upright shall guide them."
2 Cor. 8:21: "Providing in honest things, not only in the sight of the Lord, but also in the sight of men."
The point of all this is to say that the use of words from our mouth or our pen (or keyboard) hold a responsibility to God and to our fellow man. No matter how elevated an opinion we have of ourselves and our station in life, or the career we strive for, we still have that responsibility. Perhaps those who influence the most people have even more responsibility to use words carefully. As musicians, authors, and speakers the words we use show a deeper understanding of our hearts and our worldview. As a result, the words we use, the subjects we discuss, the issues we raise are a true picture of what's inside us. The core of our heart's condition.
Point made and following up with the knowledge that as sinners, we'll be sure to make mistakes, use a colorful metaphor here and there, or laugh at a risque joke if we think no one is watching. But don't use the excuse that you have some special privilege to do so because you are an artist of one sort or another. We are not at the mercy of the world to allow them to dictate what subjects we will discuss or how low we'll stoop to grasp their attention by the use of offensive or misleading language. That's what the world says, is that who you represent?
October 21, 2010
More chapter 2
Coming back to the present, she moved around the fire. Taking a blanket from the packs, she spread it over Philip. His sleep seemed more peaceful now. He'd be alright and if he followed her instructions, his hand should be good as new in a few days. When she was sure that he was resting comfortably, she tiptoed off toward the path. As she turned to look back, she saw Dynny looking at her wistfully. She waved and whispered, “He's all yours, now. Take good care of him.” After taking one last look at the huddled figure lying beside the fire, she disappeared into the bushes.
For a couple days she stayed near the cottage fearing that she might meet Philip again if she wandered further into the forest. Something about him haunted her like a reoccurring dream calling her back to a time in the past. Had she seen him before? Was he a farmer from one of the neighboring farms? She just couldn't figure it out. Why couldn't she remember?
Time went on as usual with daily chores and visits from folks needing remedies from her stores of salves and teas. She was glad she had something useful to offer her friends. They often relied on her to help them heal their families when they were injured or taken with illness. When the plague had threatened to steal the lives of a few families further down the valley, they had come to her. The silver cross pendant that hung from her neck was a stark reminder of just how quickly things could change. The tea that she had made from rainwater steeped with the silver cross had stopped the disease from claiming the lives of entire families. How had she known what to do? She wasn't sure.
The following morning, she felt sure that Philip would have returned to his home and it would be safe to go into the forest again. She gathered a few herbs to dry for winter and even found a patch of tubers that she could prepare like potatoes. When she returned, she was surprised to find that her berry basket, filled to the brim with blackberries and a bouquet of wild flowers were waiting near the back door. Looking around, she found herself quite alone and was surprised to notice that she felt a little pang of regret. Then, chiding herself for her foolishness, she went inside.
Thoughts of Philip and his inquisitive steed kept her company that evening as she sat close to the small fire in the fireplace. It was the first of the autumn season. The nights had been warm enough so far but there was a chill in the air that made her shiver. She wondered if he had a warm place to sleep. Was his hand healing properly. Had he been able to go on with the hunting that he'd mentioned? She began to nod in her rocking chair. The warm blankets on her bed were a welcome comfort as she slid underneath their weighted protection. She drifted into sweet daydreams in which she saw herself in a sea of tall grasses; laughing and dancing through endless flowers...their heady scent...filling....the warm....sunlit......field. Sleep.
For a couple days she stayed near the cottage fearing that she might meet Philip again if she wandered further into the forest. Something about him haunted her like a reoccurring dream calling her back to a time in the past. Had she seen him before? Was he a farmer from one of the neighboring farms? She just couldn't figure it out. Why couldn't she remember?
Time went on as usual with daily chores and visits from folks needing remedies from her stores of salves and teas. She was glad she had something useful to offer her friends. They often relied on her to help them heal their families when they were injured or taken with illness. When the plague had threatened to steal the lives of a few families further down the valley, they had come to her. The silver cross pendant that hung from her neck was a stark reminder of just how quickly things could change. The tea that she had made from rainwater steeped with the silver cross had stopped the disease from claiming the lives of entire families. How had she known what to do? She wasn't sure.
The following morning, she felt sure that Philip would have returned to his home and it would be safe to go into the forest again. She gathered a few herbs to dry for winter and even found a patch of tubers that she could prepare like potatoes. When she returned, she was surprised to find that her berry basket, filled to the brim with blackberries and a bouquet of wild flowers were waiting near the back door. Looking around, she found herself quite alone and was surprised to notice that she felt a little pang of regret. Then, chiding herself for her foolishness, she went inside.
Thoughts of Philip and his inquisitive steed kept her company that evening as she sat close to the small fire in the fireplace. It was the first of the autumn season. The nights had been warm enough so far but there was a chill in the air that made her shiver. She wondered if he had a warm place to sleep. Was his hand healing properly. Had he been able to go on with the hunting that he'd mentioned? She began to nod in her rocking chair. The warm blankets on her bed were a welcome comfort as she slid underneath their weighted protection. She drifted into sweet daydreams in which she saw herself in a sea of tall grasses; laughing and dancing through endless flowers...their heady scent...filling....the warm....sunlit......field. Sleep.
October 20, 2010
Time and times
Sometimes I think that being a child of God is so clear and plain that I don't understand why everyone doesn't get it. But then there are times when it's not so clear and the answers are not as "cut and dried" as I thought. What's changed? I'm pretty sure it's not God. So...that leaves me. What has clouded my thinking? Or is it my view that's changed?
It's easy to look at things through rose colored glasses when the world is all "rosy" and bright but when the shadows fall across our path darkening the picture, it becomes a wee bit harder to keep up the outlook. That's why it's a really good thing that I don't have to keep it up by myself. Besides having God to lean on, I have family and friends who seem to know just when I need a little boost. It's like a net that catches me when I fall and lends support to every other knot that makes up the network of ties and strings. All the links don't need to be strong at once because the power and strength of the ones beside it can hold it up for a time.
So my weakness becomes strength as I take off my rose colored glasses and face reality head on. No matter what's out there, I can be assured that God can reach down here and pull me out of the net into the safety of His loving hands. Time and times...each time we fall or stumble, even crash and burn, we don't have to go it alone. It's inevitable that we're going to need the support over and over again but it's kinda nice to know that next time, my link may help hold someone else up when they fall.
This week, I'm holding on in hopes of guidance for some very important issues. It's probable that my link is not doing it's part right now. My outlook hasn't changed and I know He has all the answers for me but I guess the clouds have blocked out some of the light. Here's looking for clearer sight tomorrow.
It's easy to look at things through rose colored glasses when the world is all "rosy" and bright but when the shadows fall across our path darkening the picture, it becomes a wee bit harder to keep up the outlook. That's why it's a really good thing that I don't have to keep it up by myself. Besides having God to lean on, I have family and friends who seem to know just when I need a little boost. It's like a net that catches me when I fall and lends support to every other knot that makes up the network of ties and strings. All the links don't need to be strong at once because the power and strength of the ones beside it can hold it up for a time.
So my weakness becomes strength as I take off my rose colored glasses and face reality head on. No matter what's out there, I can be assured that God can reach down here and pull me out of the net into the safety of His loving hands. Time and times...each time we fall or stumble, even crash and burn, we don't have to go it alone. It's inevitable that we're going to need the support over and over again but it's kinda nice to know that next time, my link may help hold someone else up when they fall.
This week, I'm holding on in hopes of guidance for some very important issues. It's probable that my link is not doing it's part right now. My outlook hasn't changed and I know He has all the answers for me but I guess the clouds have blocked out some of the light. Here's looking for clearer sight tomorrow.
October 19, 2010
Too many things
Well, the load just keeps getting heavier. Thank goodness I don't have to carry it alone. God is good to me even when I don't deserve it and I know He loves me so I'm resting in Him. Still a little anxiety creeping in but trying to push it aside. It's going to be ok...right?
October 18, 2010
Goosie is safely back at school. I miss her.
Well, things have taken another crazy turn in this meandering life I live. So I'm looking for alternate ways to deal with stuff.
Sometimes I get so discouraged by others. I know I'm not without fault and make plenty of mistakes but seriously, do people really think they can do whatever they want? I guess so. Some folks don't seem to want to be content or happy. They are most satisfied when they are feeling sorry for themselves. It doesn't seem to matter how much money they have or how easy they have it. They are working hard at struggling against their blessings . In some strange way that seems to give them peace about the wealth that surrounds them. Oh, well.
It's looking like a worm eating morning...So, yeah.
Well, things have taken another crazy turn in this meandering life I live. So I'm looking for alternate ways to deal with stuff.
Sometimes I get so discouraged by others. I know I'm not without fault and make plenty of mistakes but seriously, do people really think they can do whatever they want? I guess so. Some folks don't seem to want to be content or happy. They are most satisfied when they are feeling sorry for themselves. It doesn't seem to matter how much money they have or how easy they have it. They are working hard at struggling against their blessings . In some strange way that seems to give them peace about the wealth that surrounds them. Oh, well.
It's looking like a worm eating morning...So, yeah.
October 17, 2010
Too fast
Well, I've just lived through the fastest 3 days ever! We'll be taking Goosie to meet her ride back to school this afternoon and I can hardly believe fall break is over. It's been great having her home for a few days and of course we'll miss her a lot. This has been the longest stretch of time that she's ever been away and it's taken some getting used to. From now until the end of the semester we'll have a chance to see her more often with holidays and family weekend as well as a trip to see her play.
As a family, we're facing some specific needs that I can't name and I'd covet your prayers. Thanks.
As a family, we're facing some specific needs that I can't name and I'd covet your prayers. Thanks.
October 16, 2010
Storytelling
I've always enjoyed a good story. There's a certain knack to telling stories that can hold people's attention. One must make the reader feel as if they are a part of the story. As if the good folks are their dear friends and the villains their mortal enemies. They must stake a claim in the outcome, emotionally invest in the characters, long to hear how the story ends. There's nothing worse than becoming involved in a story only to find that the ending leaves you wondering what just happened. By all means, throw a twist in the plot; bring in new characters who muddle the outcome; but a story that ends with disappointment is a waste of my time. It's not entertaining, it's not something that makes me say, "My, wasn't that clever!" If I've invested in the story only to have the rug pulled out from under me with the fate of the characters in unhappy circumstances, I'm not likely to read it again or recommend it to others. And, trials must be a part of the tale but I don't think one tragedy after another paints a very realistic scene and even if, in some cases it does, I think a story about it only compounds the grief.
A biography is one thing and the story written for entertainment quite another. There are times when real life is very disappointing and the outcome leaves me wondering, "Why?" but that's been discussed elsewhere. Now don't get me wrong, there are lots of real life scenarios with unhappy endings but that's just the reason why stories should turn out better. And I guess there are times when a tale takes a turn for the worst that makes me cry along with the characters but disappointed as I am, I don't feel cheated by the end. When Robin Hood was dying, I shouted for Little John to do something! And yet, I knew why he could not.
Like my girls, and probably part of the reason they feel they way they do, I really like the old classics, full of mystery and adventure. As a girl, I could imagine myself sword fighting, rafting, sleuthing out clues or being a sharp shooting archer right along with the best of them. After all, Lady Marion could do it...but she had something that I lacked. As well as being an adventuress and full of courage (things I thought I could muster quite well) she also knew how to be a charming lady of quality. As a tom boy, whose parents didn't have any boys, I felt rather inadequate to fill that role. Or as one of the ladies of Longbourn, who would never dream of soiling their gowns...except Elizabeth. Well, maybe...
I'm glad to see that my girls have followed in my footsteps. It's not enough to dream of being the princess, high in her ivory tower, untouched by the perils of her people, living the life of luxury far from the regular folks who earn their living or even their survival, the best way they can and having the handsome prince swooning at your feet like a lovesick puppy. Well... that may be worthy of a few fleeting moments of thought...but I wouldn't want to live there! How dull! A truly wonderful tale is one full of the heart, of noble people who are not afraid to work, or fight, along side those whose fortunes or circumstances in life are far beneath their own. The reason is that in many cases, nobility comes from the heart. Take Arthur for example, he didn't know who he was until he was thrust into the kingship after pulling the sword from the stone. The most unlikely to fill the long vacant throne and yet the one who could do it the best.
All this to say that when I've read all the wonderful stories, I get the urge to write my own. To create a world in which the hero or heroine emerges as likable and worthy of the regard of my readers. Someone who inspires them and makes choices that are noble and virtuous in nature even in trying situations. Doing what's right in times of happiness and plenty doesn't take much effort. Not to say that they never make mistakes or disappoint but all in all, they try to do what's right. And they will probably live happily ever after because they deserve it. Like the underdog, or the girl with the courage to defend what's right when she stands to lose something important... and, of course, the man who loves her for it.
On a bit of a side note; a must for a good character is a little common sense. It's tough to stand behind someone who continually makes decisions based on half truths or that don't make any sense to the reader as if they are based on something the author knows about the character that we'll never learn. I despise coming away from a story with unanswered questions about what happened. Even if I don't agree with the decisions the character makes, at least if I can understand why they did it that way, I can follow along with their reasoning. Or more to the point, the lack of continuity in the characters personality that begs more information but it never comes leaves me thinking that they are not worthy of the investment. I can't identify with someone unless I know where they are coming from. The inability to understand why they do what they do doesn't draw me closer to them. It only serves to do the opposite by causing me to disconnect with them and lose interest in the story, or at least their portion of it.
I guess it's sort of wishful thinking...imagining myself in the role of someone who can persevere in the shadow of trials or who goes on to do what's right when it would be easier to quit. Just a gal who lives a life that has meaning and inspiration to leave behind to those who follow.
After all, isn't that what we all try to do? Through all the pain and trials that come our way and all the tough choices we have to make, we try to do what's right. Not for what we can gain for ourselves but for those we care about. Often that involves sacrifice and stepping back from the forefront to stand beside those we love. But in the end, we're rewarded for it, either in this life or the eternity to come. A legacy worthy of a princess...or even a pauper.
A biography is one thing and the story written for entertainment quite another. There are times when real life is very disappointing and the outcome leaves me wondering, "Why?" but that's been discussed elsewhere. Now don't get me wrong, there are lots of real life scenarios with unhappy endings but that's just the reason why stories should turn out better. And I guess there are times when a tale takes a turn for the worst that makes me cry along with the characters but disappointed as I am, I don't feel cheated by the end. When Robin Hood was dying, I shouted for Little John to do something! And yet, I knew why he could not.
Like my girls, and probably part of the reason they feel they way they do, I really like the old classics, full of mystery and adventure. As a girl, I could imagine myself sword fighting, rafting, sleuthing out clues or being a sharp shooting archer right along with the best of them. After all, Lady Marion could do it...but she had something that I lacked. As well as being an adventuress and full of courage (things I thought I could muster quite well) she also knew how to be a charming lady of quality. As a tom boy, whose parents didn't have any boys, I felt rather inadequate to fill that role. Or as one of the ladies of Longbourn, who would never dream of soiling their gowns...except Elizabeth. Well, maybe...
I'm glad to see that my girls have followed in my footsteps. It's not enough to dream of being the princess, high in her ivory tower, untouched by the perils of her people, living the life of luxury far from the regular folks who earn their living or even their survival, the best way they can and having the handsome prince swooning at your feet like a lovesick puppy. Well... that may be worthy of a few fleeting moments of thought...but I wouldn't want to live there! How dull! A truly wonderful tale is one full of the heart, of noble people who are not afraid to work, or fight, along side those whose fortunes or circumstances in life are far beneath their own. The reason is that in many cases, nobility comes from the heart. Take Arthur for example, he didn't know who he was until he was thrust into the kingship after pulling the sword from the stone. The most unlikely to fill the long vacant throne and yet the one who could do it the best.
All this to say that when I've read all the wonderful stories, I get the urge to write my own. To create a world in which the hero or heroine emerges as likable and worthy of the regard of my readers. Someone who inspires them and makes choices that are noble and virtuous in nature even in trying situations. Doing what's right in times of happiness and plenty doesn't take much effort. Not to say that they never make mistakes or disappoint but all in all, they try to do what's right. And they will probably live happily ever after because they deserve it. Like the underdog, or the girl with the courage to defend what's right when she stands to lose something important... and, of course, the man who loves her for it.
On a bit of a side note; a must for a good character is a little common sense. It's tough to stand behind someone who continually makes decisions based on half truths or that don't make any sense to the reader as if they are based on something the author knows about the character that we'll never learn. I despise coming away from a story with unanswered questions about what happened. Even if I don't agree with the decisions the character makes, at least if I can understand why they did it that way, I can follow along with their reasoning. Or more to the point, the lack of continuity in the characters personality that begs more information but it never comes leaves me thinking that they are not worthy of the investment. I can't identify with someone unless I know where they are coming from. The inability to understand why they do what they do doesn't draw me closer to them. It only serves to do the opposite by causing me to disconnect with them and lose interest in the story, or at least their portion of it.
I guess it's sort of wishful thinking...imagining myself in the role of someone who can persevere in the shadow of trials or who goes on to do what's right when it would be easier to quit. Just a gal who lives a life that has meaning and inspiration to leave behind to those who follow.
After all, isn't that what we all try to do? Through all the pain and trials that come our way and all the tough choices we have to make, we try to do what's right. Not for what we can gain for ourselves but for those we care about. Often that involves sacrifice and stepping back from the forefront to stand beside those we love. But in the end, we're rewarded for it, either in this life or the eternity to come. A legacy worthy of a princess...or even a pauper.
beginning of Chapter 2
As Gweneth quickly retraced her steps toward the little cottage hidden on the outskirts of what had once been a small but thriving village, she thought about the young man. Philip, he'd said his name was...why did that strike a chord in her memory? No time to think about that now. She quickly filled her satchel with bandages, salve and vinegar. Pausing in the small kitchen garden outside the cottage she picked a few sprigs of yarrow. She hurried back down the trail stopping only long enough to harvest some plantain leaves.
When she arrived at the campsite, Philip was sitting by the fire looking rather sheepish, cradling his hand gingerly on his lap. He looked up hopefully and moved back so she could take a closer look. Gravel from the fall was embedded in the wound and the blisters were full and red. She looked at him pitifully because she knew that initially, her treatment would hurt. Being as gentle as possible, she washed the cuts with warm water. Deftly removing the bits of stone, she quickly cleaned most of the grit from the area and rinsed it again. Philip pulled back in pain. She took out the cider vinegar and bathed the burnt area. He winced again but didn't seem to mind that she continued to care for the burns and cuts.
In his embarrassment, he couldn't bring himself to look at her. While his hand was soaking in the vinegar, she bruised the yarrow and put it in a small pot with some hot water to steep. When the infusion had cooled she soaked a bandage in the tea and held it over his hand. The pain seemed to ease a bit and he turned to look at her with appreciation. She made some tea and offered him a cup which he took gratefully. It seemed now that the tables were turned; he was the shy one, unable to look at her without blushing with embarrassment. No words to say and an uncertainty or confusion written all over his face. Was he frightened? She smiled to reassure him but still refused to speak except to give him instructions about caring for his hand.
Once the salve had been applied and his hand wrapped in bandages, she sat back for a minute. He began to look tired and before long had drifted into a fitful sleep. Thinking it best to stay with him for a while, she sat across the fire watching him. Now that she could take a moment to reflect, she began to think about her childhood and the days leading up to her life in the forest. Images that she hadn't thought of in a long time came flooding back. She couldn't put her finger on it but there was something in those memories that was trying to speak to her.
Gradually, she became aware that she was being watched, too. Looking up, she saw that Dynny was looking at her with a curious mixture of suspicion and approval. She met the horses gaze with a puzzled , questioning look. Dynny whinnied and nodded his head.
She moved closer to the steed and examined his saddle and trappings. They were much too nice to be a peasant's horse. Was he stolen? But Dynny and Philip seemed to have a familiar relationship going. Maybe it was his master's horse and Dynny was used to having Philip care for him. But it seemed like more than that. She noticed that there was a sword cleverly concealed along the saddle under the packs. Drawing it from it's sheath, she held it up to admire the craftsmanship. The horse snorted and pressed his head against her shoulder. She quickly returned the sword to it hiding place. He began nuzzling and snuffling around her apron pockets. She remembered a handful of grain that she had saved for the birds when she was grinding a bit of flour one of the farmers had traded her for some herbal salve. Taking the grain from her pocket, she slowly held out her hand to the curious animal. He licked at it gratefully, his warm tongue tickling her small hand. She giggled and pulled it back. The little bit of grain was gone quickly. Looking around, she realized that the horse was probably thirsty. There was a spring nearby so she took the pot from the fire and started off in the direction of the water. Twigs snapped behind her. She turned to see Dynny trying to follow her through the thick undergrowth. Going back, she led him to a spot in the little clearing near the sleeping Philip and tied him to a bush. He followed her longingly with his eyes as she started off toward the spring again.
When she returned with the water, the horse drank it quickly and noisily. She chuckled to herself and patted him on the head. She removed his saddle and rubbed him down. It had been a long time since she had had the opportunity to brush a horse. It was a task she had always enjoyed. The smell of warm hide; the strength of the muscles that twitched beneath her hands as she rubbed across the massive shoulders. Pictures flashed in and out. More memories prodded her mind. She stopped grooming the animal and stood starring thoughtfully into space.
When she arrived at the campsite, Philip was sitting by the fire looking rather sheepish, cradling his hand gingerly on his lap. He looked up hopefully and moved back so she could take a closer look. Gravel from the fall was embedded in the wound and the blisters were full and red. She looked at him pitifully because she knew that initially, her treatment would hurt. Being as gentle as possible, she washed the cuts with warm water. Deftly removing the bits of stone, she quickly cleaned most of the grit from the area and rinsed it again. Philip pulled back in pain. She took out the cider vinegar and bathed the burnt area. He winced again but didn't seem to mind that she continued to care for the burns and cuts.
In his embarrassment, he couldn't bring himself to look at her. While his hand was soaking in the vinegar, she bruised the yarrow and put it in a small pot with some hot water to steep. When the infusion had cooled she soaked a bandage in the tea and held it over his hand. The pain seemed to ease a bit and he turned to look at her with appreciation. She made some tea and offered him a cup which he took gratefully. It seemed now that the tables were turned; he was the shy one, unable to look at her without blushing with embarrassment. No words to say and an uncertainty or confusion written all over his face. Was he frightened? She smiled to reassure him but still refused to speak except to give him instructions about caring for his hand.
Once the salve had been applied and his hand wrapped in bandages, she sat back for a minute. He began to look tired and before long had drifted into a fitful sleep. Thinking it best to stay with him for a while, she sat across the fire watching him. Now that she could take a moment to reflect, she began to think about her childhood and the days leading up to her life in the forest. Images that she hadn't thought of in a long time came flooding back. She couldn't put her finger on it but there was something in those memories that was trying to speak to her.
Gradually, she became aware that she was being watched, too. Looking up, she saw that Dynny was looking at her with a curious mixture of suspicion and approval. She met the horses gaze with a puzzled , questioning look. Dynny whinnied and nodded his head.
She moved closer to the steed and examined his saddle and trappings. They were much too nice to be a peasant's horse. Was he stolen? But Dynny and Philip seemed to have a familiar relationship going. Maybe it was his master's horse and Dynny was used to having Philip care for him. But it seemed like more than that. She noticed that there was a sword cleverly concealed along the saddle under the packs. Drawing it from it's sheath, she held it up to admire the craftsmanship. The horse snorted and pressed his head against her shoulder. She quickly returned the sword to it hiding place. He began nuzzling and snuffling around her apron pockets. She remembered a handful of grain that she had saved for the birds when she was grinding a bit of flour one of the farmers had traded her for some herbal salve. Taking the grain from her pocket, she slowly held out her hand to the curious animal. He licked at it gratefully, his warm tongue tickling her small hand. She giggled and pulled it back. The little bit of grain was gone quickly. Looking around, she realized that the horse was probably thirsty. There was a spring nearby so she took the pot from the fire and started off in the direction of the water. Twigs snapped behind her. She turned to see Dynny trying to follow her through the thick undergrowth. Going back, she led him to a spot in the little clearing near the sleeping Philip and tied him to a bush. He followed her longingly with his eyes as she started off toward the spring again.
When she returned with the water, the horse drank it quickly and noisily. She chuckled to herself and patted him on the head. She removed his saddle and rubbed him down. It had been a long time since she had had the opportunity to brush a horse. It was a task she had always enjoyed. The smell of warm hide; the strength of the muscles that twitched beneath her hands as she rubbed across the massive shoulders. Pictures flashed in and out. More memories prodded her mind. She stopped grooming the animal and stood starring thoughtfully into space.
Coming back to the present, she moved around the fire. Taking a blanket from the packs, she spread it over Philip. His sleep seemed more peaceful now. He'd be alright and if he followed her instructions, his hand should be good as new in a few days. When she was sure that he was resting comfortably, she tiptoed off toward the path. As she turned to look back, she saw Dynny looking at her wistfully. She waved and whispered, “He's all yours, now. Take good care of him.” After taking one last look at the huddled figure lying beside the fire, she disappeared into the bushes.
For a couple days she stayed near the cottage fearing that she might meet Philip again if she wandered farther into the forest. Something about him haunted her like a reoccurring dream calling her back to a time in the past. Had she seen him before? Was he a farmer from one of the neighboring farms? She just couldn't figure it out. Why couldn't she remember?
Time went on as usual with daily chores and visits from folks needing remedies from her stores of salves and teas. She was glad she had something useful to offer her friends. They often relied on her to help them heal their families when they were injured or taken with illness. When the plague had threatened to steal the lives of a few families further down the valley, they had come to her. The silver cross pendant that hung from her neck was a stark reminder of just how quickly things could change. The tea that she had made from rainwater steeped with the silver cross had stopped the disease from claiming the lives of entire families. How had she known what to do? She wasn't sure.
The following morning, she felt sure that Philip would have returned to his home and it would be safe to go into the forest again. She gathered a few herbs to dry for winter and even found a patch of tubers that she could prepare like potatoes. When she returned, she was surprised to find that her berry basket, filled to the brim with blackberries and a bouquet of wild flowers were waiting near the back door. Looking around, she found herself quite alone and was surprised to notice that she felt a little pang of regret. Then, chiding herself for her foolishness, she went inside.
Thoughts of Philip and his inquisitive steed kept her company that evening as she sat close to the small fire in the fireplace. It was the first of the autumn season. The nights had been warm enough so far but there was a chill in the air that made her shiver. She wondered if he had a warm place to sleep. Was his hand healing properly. Had he been able to go on with the hunting that he'd mentioned? She began to nod in her rocking chair. The warm blankets on her bed were a welcome comfort as she slid underneath their weighted protection. She drifted into sweet daydreams in which she saw herself in a sea of tall grasses; laughing and dancing through endless flowers...their heady scent...filling....the warm....sunlit......field. Sleep.
Don't you just love Pennsylvania in the fall?!
About half of the leaves are already down but what remains are lovely and the crisp smell of autumn fills the air. We've had a frost or two but all in all the temp's been in the 60's during the day. I love fall...all of it...even though I know it's the herald of wintry days to come.
Chilly air gently nudges the warmth of summer into the creases of time as he begins to press toward the south; advancing over the gardens and woodlands of western Pennsylvania. She resists but he's insistent reminding her of the promise she made earlier this year as he receded, making room for her to warm the ground for summers harvest. The harvest is nearly past now and he's been more than generous with the time he's allowed her to linger here in the north.
We're enjoying having Goosie home for a few days. I've missed her so much. But she really likes school and has made some good friends and I'm so thankful for that. Midterms are over now and she's thinking that when she gets back classes may become a little more intense. She'll begin rehearsal for A Christmas Carol in the evenings so I'm praying that she'll be able to keep up with everything and not be overwhelmed by all of it and not get sick. Also for traveling back to her dorm late. Just a mom's worry. :)
Today we're going to the eye doctor and then to check out the new Walmart store. Tonight, dinner with family.
There are some lingering doubts and fears that hold onto a person long after a sad or heartbreaking event has past. They're stuck in the folds of our minds and sometimes rear their ugly heads to cast doubt on our lives. It's hard to understand the minds of others. It's hard to try to think from their perspective when you've really been pretty easy to get along with and submissive to other's desires for most of your life. But when you come up against that brick wall, when you can't bend any more; when you've been as understanding as you know how to be and things are still hard, what then? Some people are not happy where they live. Or even close to where they live. They think the grass is greener on the other side. So instead of investing in the life they have, they are constantly trying to become someone who fits in the greener pasture. To those of us who are a part of the life they have now, this tactic implies that they feel superior and that we are not "good" enough to fulfill their desires. Hmmmm....
Chilly air gently nudges the warmth of summer into the creases of time as he begins to press toward the south; advancing over the gardens and woodlands of western Pennsylvania. She resists but he's insistent reminding her of the promise she made earlier this year as he receded, making room for her to warm the ground for summers harvest. The harvest is nearly past now and he's been more than generous with the time he's allowed her to linger here in the north.
We're enjoying having Goosie home for a few days. I've missed her so much. But she really likes school and has made some good friends and I'm so thankful for that. Midterms are over now and she's thinking that when she gets back classes may become a little more intense. She'll begin rehearsal for A Christmas Carol in the evenings so I'm praying that she'll be able to keep up with everything and not be overwhelmed by all of it and not get sick. Also for traveling back to her dorm late. Just a mom's worry. :)
Today we're going to the eye doctor and then to check out the new Walmart store. Tonight, dinner with family.
There are some lingering doubts and fears that hold onto a person long after a sad or heartbreaking event has past. They're stuck in the folds of our minds and sometimes rear their ugly heads to cast doubt on our lives. It's hard to understand the minds of others. It's hard to try to think from their perspective when you've really been pretty easy to get along with and submissive to other's desires for most of your life. But when you come up against that brick wall, when you can't bend any more; when you've been as understanding as you know how to be and things are still hard, what then? Some people are not happy where they live. Or even close to where they live. They think the grass is greener on the other side. So instead of investing in the life they have, they are constantly trying to become someone who fits in the greener pasture. To those of us who are a part of the life they have now, this tactic implies that they feel superior and that we are not "good" enough to fulfill their desires. Hmmmm....
October 14, 2010
What to do next...
As I ponder what my next course of action should be in an effort to find a way to earn some income from home, I'm looking into making money with my blog. Problem is that so far most of the content here is personal in nature and probably not the kind of thing that would generate much traffic.
My sister blog is a little more focused but there are so many other blogs that carry much more in depth and interesting articles on the same topics that I can't imagine anyone wanting to read mine. Yeah...so far I have 6 faithful followers! Not really what you'd call a booming site.
Sometimes I'm inspired to write there and actually started a challenge but due to health issues and a pressing need to increase my income through other, more immediate, means, it's suffered greatly. So I guess I'm looking for advice, ideas or inspiration regarding what I should do next. I'm not going to invest money or risk of any kind because that would be counter productive to my goals. But I fear that I'm not computer savvy enough and may be taken by some sort of scam. So, yeah...any ideas?
My sister blog is a little more focused but there are so many other blogs that carry much more in depth and interesting articles on the same topics that I can't imagine anyone wanting to read mine. Yeah...so far I have 6 faithful followers! Not really what you'd call a booming site.
Sometimes I'm inspired to write there and actually started a challenge but due to health issues and a pressing need to increase my income through other, more immediate, means, it's suffered greatly. So I guess I'm looking for advice, ideas or inspiration regarding what I should do next. I'm not going to invest money or risk of any kind because that would be counter productive to my goals. But I fear that I'm not computer savvy enough and may be taken by some sort of scam. So, yeah...any ideas?
She's home!!
Well, it's about 3:30AM and we just got back with my college girl. It's so good to have her here with us. She looks great and it was wonderful to hear the girls singing together again. More catching up tomorrow...er, today!!! Now for some sleep.
October 13, 2010
It's time
In about an hour, my youngest daughter and I are heading east to meet my oldest daughter on her way home for fall break. We should be home around 2AM. I'm not sure I like driving at that time of night but this time there's no help for it.
She's disappointed that she can't bring her computer home with her to do school work etc. but it's in the tech lab again to see if they can figure out what's wrong with it. It seems there are a lot of files/pictures/music left over from the previous owner as well as some problem that makes it freeze up for hours at a time. Not so good when you're trying to do homework. Hopefully by the time she goes back to school they will have figured it out. They talked about removing everything and doing something major to it but it's all Greek to me so I don't remember what she said.
We're going to see a play at our local theater while she's home. It's a two man show called "The Mystery of Irma Vep" and two of the most talented players I know are pulling it off. I had a chance to see a little of their rehearsal last week. It's hilarious! They change from one character to another in a matter of seconds as they walk behind the set and emerge from another door! I guess some of their costumes are merely the front and they velcro onto a different costume so they just pull it off as they walk. I can't wait to see it.
Lot's going on here and I'm feeling pretty tired. Gotta stop worrying about things I can't change and just accept that I will probably never know some of the things that don't make sense to me. I don't have the strength for it right now, anyway. I'd like to say that I am not going to think about stuff any more at all but that's not going to happen.
She's disappointed that she can't bring her computer home with her to do school work etc. but it's in the tech lab again to see if they can figure out what's wrong with it. It seems there are a lot of files/pictures/music left over from the previous owner as well as some problem that makes it freeze up for hours at a time. Not so good when you're trying to do homework. Hopefully by the time she goes back to school they will have figured it out. They talked about removing everything and doing something major to it but it's all Greek to me so I don't remember what she said.
We're going to see a play at our local theater while she's home. It's a two man show called "The Mystery of Irma Vep" and two of the most talented players I know are pulling it off. I had a chance to see a little of their rehearsal last week. It's hilarious! They change from one character to another in a matter of seconds as they walk behind the set and emerge from another door! I guess some of their costumes are merely the front and they velcro onto a different costume so they just pull it off as they walk. I can't wait to see it.
Lot's going on here and I'm feeling pretty tired. Gotta stop worrying about things I can't change and just accept that I will probably never know some of the things that don't make sense to me. I don't have the strength for it right now, anyway. I'd like to say that I am not going to think about stuff any more at all but that's not going to happen.
October 12, 2010
Tomorrow's the day!
Fall break begins tomorrow after classes so Goosie is coming home for a few days!! I'm so excited! Praying for safe travel and a nice relaxing visit although the schedule is filling up quickly. Don't ya hate that? But time for family and friends is a necessity I guess. Drat! I just want to keep her right here the whole time! Haha! But it's a good sort of busy and they are all family doings, so, yeah...
Sister's soccer game, dinner with extended family, a play and then it's time to go back. But there will be time in between to just visit and cook for her and stuff like that. Homemade oreos, chicken parmesan, yogurt, farm milk to take back...lots of good for you stuff! Comfort food from home.
Sister's soccer game, dinner with extended family, a play and then it's time to go back. But there will be time in between to just visit and cook for her and stuff like that. Homemade oreos, chicken parmesan, yogurt, farm milk to take back...lots of good for you stuff! Comfort food from home.
October 11, 2010
More from chapter 1
"Well, well, well...What have we here? Seems we were right about our little runaway being close by."
The commotion woke her too late to do anything but look out at the man as he peered under the branches into her hiding place.
"Why don't you come out here where we can have a look at you, Miss?", he said in a friendly voice that almost made her like him instantly. Almost...
But her guard went right back up as she slid out into the man's camp and looked up at him apprehensively. She quickly looked down at the ground again and felt the heat rising to her cheeks as she stole another tiny peek. She didn't see many men in this part of the woods now but she'd seen her share when they burned the village and ran off all the others. They were cruel and rough. Uncaring and unfriendly. But there was something about this one. A kindness and manner that melted her reserve and drew her eyes back to his. She knew that there wasn't any hope of hiding anything from this penetrating, but gentle gaze.
Quietly, he spoke again, "Well, hello there! Now, what are you doing out here so far from town? Don't you know that it's dangerous to be out here by yourself?" He smiled with a bit of a condescending air and drew himself up to his full height as if to give weight to his admonition.
The thought of that made her burst out laughing. She'd been living out here on her own for nearly 6 months now with no help from anyone. But he couldn't have known that and she caught herself. He stopped smiling and gazed at her with a glint in his eye. He realized that although she was petite she wasn't as young as he'd originally thought. And even though she had leaves stuck in her hair, she was the fairest maiden he'd seen. He began to smile a genuine smile this time and her breath caught in her throat. There was something about this man that seemed to tug at her heart. He was handsome in his own sort of way but the depth of his eyes was what really drew her to him.
But could she trust him? How could she be sure? She decided not to speak until she knew more.
"Are you going to answer me?", he asked, kindly.
Taking a step backwards she just looked up at him, angry at herself for the awed expression she seemed helpless to change.
"Would you like some breakfast?", he asked, moving to the fire and opening one of his packs.
Perhaps a bit too eagerly, she moved closer to see what he was offering. While she had the means to get flour by trading syrup from her trees and herbs she'd gathered in the forest, she only had meat when she could find game to snare. The few folks who knew she remained in the village respected her desire and kept the secret. Most of them had small farms along the forests edge and didn't have enough meat for their families let alone any to trade or share, although occasionally they brought her a little milk and a few eggs.
The young man brought out an oily packet and unwrapped a few pieces of dried meat and a loaf of bread.
"I'd love to offer you some stew but I'm afraid this dried venison is all I have." He offered a piece to her and she reached out hesitantly to take it but finally snatched it more quickly than she would have liked.
"My name is Philip." the man said, smiling. "I live on the other side of the forest. Are you from the shire?"
When she refused to answer, only returning his gaze without indicating that she'd heard his question, he asked again.
"Do you live around here? What is your name?" After a pause, he began to look discouraged.
"I'm afraid I'm not very good at interrogating young ladies. Please forgive my rustic manners and allow me to begin again." He reached out to take her hand. Still drawn to the depth of his eyes, she raised her hand to his. Taking it lightly, he bowed and brought the hand to his lips. Dropping a slight curtsy in return, she pulled her hand away and hid it behind her back. It had been a long time since anyone had treated her in such a gentlemanly manner. She looked at the ground and began to rub the toe of her shoe across a bare spot on the forest floor.
"Ah, I can tell that you are a lady and have seen courtly manners before. Now, I wonder where you belong. Would you honor me by telling me your name? May I take you to your home?" he asked anxiously.
Regaining her sense, she shook her head and again, backed away from the young man. Seeing the concern on her face, he too took a few steps backward. As he did so his eyes never left hers and he proceeded to step into the fire, startling himself into tripping over the packs and sprawling across the clearing. His horse whinnied in what sounded suspiciously like a laugh and trotted over to his master. Grabbing him by the collar he dragged him away from the fire. Although not hurt badly, aside from his pride, his hand had slid through the hot coals of the breakfast fire and blisters were already forming. He quickly put the injured member in his mouth to cool the burn and turned to look sheepishly at Gweneth.
Seeing that he was hurt, she rushed to his side and took the hand in her own. The burns weren't severe but painful nonetheless. She knew just what to do.
"Stay here." she told him and quickly disappeared into the bushes toward the path. As he watched her go, a small smile played across his face but quickly disappeared when his horse butted him with his head and whinnied a warning.
The commotion woke her too late to do anything but look out at the man as he peered under the branches into her hiding place.
"Why don't you come out here where we can have a look at you, Miss?", he said in a friendly voice that almost made her like him instantly. Almost...
But her guard went right back up as she slid out into the man's camp and looked up at him apprehensively. She quickly looked down at the ground again and felt the heat rising to her cheeks as she stole another tiny peek. She didn't see many men in this part of the woods now but she'd seen her share when they burned the village and ran off all the others. They were cruel and rough. Uncaring and unfriendly. But there was something about this one. A kindness and manner that melted her reserve and drew her eyes back to his. She knew that there wasn't any hope of hiding anything from this penetrating, but gentle gaze.
Quietly, he spoke again, "Well, hello there! Now, what are you doing out here so far from town? Don't you know that it's dangerous to be out here by yourself?" He smiled with a bit of a condescending air and drew himself up to his full height as if to give weight to his admonition.
The thought of that made her burst out laughing. She'd been living out here on her own for nearly 6 months now with no help from anyone. But he couldn't have known that and she caught herself. He stopped smiling and gazed at her with a glint in his eye. He realized that although she was petite she wasn't as young as he'd originally thought. And even though she had leaves stuck in her hair, she was the fairest maiden he'd seen. He began to smile a genuine smile this time and her breath caught in her throat. There was something about this man that seemed to tug at her heart. He was handsome in his own sort of way but the depth of his eyes was what really drew her to him.
But could she trust him? How could she be sure? She decided not to speak until she knew more.
"Are you going to answer me?", he asked, kindly.
Taking a step backwards she just looked up at him, angry at herself for the awed expression she seemed helpless to change.
"Would you like some breakfast?", he asked, moving to the fire and opening one of his packs.
Perhaps a bit too eagerly, she moved closer to see what he was offering. While she had the means to get flour by trading syrup from her trees and herbs she'd gathered in the forest, she only had meat when she could find game to snare. The few folks who knew she remained in the village respected her desire and kept the secret. Most of them had small farms along the forests edge and didn't have enough meat for their families let alone any to trade or share, although occasionally they brought her a little milk and a few eggs.
The young man brought out an oily packet and unwrapped a few pieces of dried meat and a loaf of bread.
"I'd love to offer you some stew but I'm afraid this dried venison is all I have." He offered a piece to her and she reached out hesitantly to take it but finally snatched it more quickly than she would have liked.
"My name is Philip." the man said, smiling. "I live on the other side of the forest. Are you from the shire?"
When she refused to answer, only returning his gaze without indicating that she'd heard his question, he asked again.
"Do you live around here? What is your name?" After a pause, he began to look discouraged.
"I'm afraid I'm not very good at interrogating young ladies. Please forgive my rustic manners and allow me to begin again." He reached out to take her hand. Still drawn to the depth of his eyes, she raised her hand to his. Taking it lightly, he bowed and brought the hand to his lips. Dropping a slight curtsy in return, she pulled her hand away and hid it behind her back. It had been a long time since anyone had treated her in such a gentlemanly manner. She looked at the ground and began to rub the toe of her shoe across a bare spot on the forest floor.
"Ah, I can tell that you are a lady and have seen courtly manners before. Now, I wonder where you belong. Would you honor me by telling me your name? May I take you to your home?" he asked anxiously.
Regaining her sense, she shook her head and again, backed away from the young man. Seeing the concern on her face, he too took a few steps backward. As he did so his eyes never left hers and he proceeded to step into the fire, startling himself into tripping over the packs and sprawling across the clearing. His horse whinnied in what sounded suspiciously like a laugh and trotted over to his master. Grabbing him by the collar he dragged him away from the fire. Although not hurt badly, aside from his pride, his hand had slid through the hot coals of the breakfast fire and blisters were already forming. He quickly put the injured member in his mouth to cool the burn and turned to look sheepishly at Gweneth.
Seeing that he was hurt, she rushed to his side and took the hand in her own. The burns weren't severe but painful nonetheless. She knew just what to do.
"Stay here." she told him and quickly disappeared into the bushes toward the path. As he watched her go, a small smile played across his face but quickly disappeared when his horse butted him with his head and whinnied a warning.
I'm so tired
I'm so very tired. All of me. But I have to keep going. There's a lot to do. Anemia makes your heart work harder to carry oxygen to your body because there aren't as many red blood cells as there should be. I'm working on it but meanwhile, I'm so tired.
Nothing earth shattering showed up on my many tests so I'm very thankful for that. I'm praying that I can get my strength back quickly and start feeling better. The herbs and vitamins I've put myself on a couple days ago should start working soon...Lord willing.
Nothing earth shattering showed up on my many tests so I'm very thankful for that. I'm praying that I can get my strength back quickly and start feeling better. The herbs and vitamins I've put myself on a couple days ago should start working soon...Lord willing.
October 9, 2010
How do you know?
How do you know what the Lord's will is for your life? For whatever reason, I think that His desire is for all of us to be happy. Maybe happiness comes from contentment or fulfillment and maybe it's not the smiley, contagious variety but it is always something to be shared. Maybe I'm crazy but I think He really wants only the best for us but because we live in a world full of people just like us, things change. Not that He's not able to overcome the things that get in the way, but sometimes He chooses not to. So, if we're in communion with God and we talk with Him regularly through prayer and His word, we know what we're supposed to do.
What happens when you feel He's leading you to do something and you spend lots time and energy and maybe even money planning it all out and are ready to launch into it when something else, that also seems equally lead by God, comes along that is in complete or near opposition to the original plan? Now you're in a pickle! Do you go by what you want most? Did the second thing happen to distract you from the first plan? Can you let go of the first one at least long enough to take a good look at the options? Or is it always hanging on in the back of your mind and you know that even though you want the second thing very much, you're not going to let go of your original dream. The only way the second thing can fit in to your life is to work it around the plans you've already made. Well, I guess that's the answer.
Otherwise you'd make your original plan secondary and make you're new "thing" the center of your dreams. Maybe it's not so hard to figure out after all. Or maybe your just not looking at it in the same perspective as He is. Don't forget that He can see the BIG picture and we can only see the small, little bubble of our own lives. Maybe for some reason, we needed to make the preparations but the goal we thought we were heading for is not where He wants us to end up. Or maybe I'm just being silly.
Of course if either of those things include other people, it becomes a whole new ball game. So, yeah...
Thoughts?
What happens when you feel He's leading you to do something and you spend lots time and energy and maybe even money planning it all out and are ready to launch into it when something else, that also seems equally lead by God, comes along that is in complete or near opposition to the original plan? Now you're in a pickle! Do you go by what you want most? Did the second thing happen to distract you from the first plan? Can you let go of the first one at least long enough to take a good look at the options? Or is it always hanging on in the back of your mind and you know that even though you want the second thing very much, you're not going to let go of your original dream. The only way the second thing can fit in to your life is to work it around the plans you've already made. Well, I guess that's the answer.
Otherwise you'd make your original plan secondary and make you're new "thing" the center of your dreams. Maybe it's not so hard to figure out after all. Or maybe your just not looking at it in the same perspective as He is. Don't forget that He can see the BIG picture and we can only see the small, little bubble of our own lives. Maybe for some reason, we needed to make the preparations but the goal we thought we were heading for is not where He wants us to end up. Or maybe I'm just being silly.
Of course if either of those things include other people, it becomes a whole new ball game. So, yeah...
Thoughts?
Where does the time go?
It's not easy thinking about time and how quickly it passes. Of course, it's all too true what they say about time seeming to pass more quickly as you get older. But I suspect that has to do with the increase in responsibility which seems to steal time away with all it's demands. All too often I think about all the things that I wanted to do with my girls when they were younger but time slipped past us, filled with lots of things, just not all the things on my list. But there are still things on the list that I'd like to do. Mother/daughter adventures that may even mean more now that they are older.
This summer was a blur and now it seems like autumn is hurtling by at an alarming speed. But I'm so thankful for those days when we can take a break from our regular routine and do "stuff" together. Problem with me is that I don't mind if that something is working on a project or cleaning up the house instead of something more entertaining. I don't think both my girls feel that same!
Memories of time spend together are just that and it's the together that means something to me. When someone that I love wants to spend time with me, I think of it as a gift. I don't need to be entertained or do something epic, I just like to be together. That's hard for my husband to understand. If he plans to spend time with me, he thinks it has to be something that involves travel and money. And of course food. And that's nice but as a consequence of not having the means to do those sorts of activities much, he doesn't think of just being together as much as I do.
On the flip side of that, if I tell him that we don't have to "do" something like that to spend time with each other, he thinks watching a movie at home will count. Now that's ok once in a while but what I'm talking about is time spent with ME, not the television. Look at ME, talk with ME, be with ME!!!!! Men!
So, yeah, I guess my focus for this article is directed inward. Too bad.
This summer was a blur and now it seems like autumn is hurtling by at an alarming speed. But I'm so thankful for those days when we can take a break from our regular routine and do "stuff" together. Problem with me is that I don't mind if that something is working on a project or cleaning up the house instead of something more entertaining. I don't think both my girls feel that same!
Memories of time spend together are just that and it's the together that means something to me. When someone that I love wants to spend time with me, I think of it as a gift. I don't need to be entertained or do something epic, I just like to be together. That's hard for my husband to understand. If he plans to spend time with me, he thinks it has to be something that involves travel and money. And of course food. And that's nice but as a consequence of not having the means to do those sorts of activities much, he doesn't think of just being together as much as I do.
On the flip side of that, if I tell him that we don't have to "do" something like that to spend time with each other, he thinks watching a movie at home will count. Now that's ok once in a while but what I'm talking about is time spent with ME, not the television. Look at ME, talk with ME, be with ME!!!!! Men!
So, yeah, I guess my focus for this article is directed inward. Too bad.
October 8, 2010
Here's looking at you!
The last few weeks have been tough. I'm so looking forward to the weekend! It will be so nice to catch up on a little rest. Things can get a little scary but I know that I don't have to go through it alone. I'll probably learn more on Monday but right now I'm just dealing with today, trying to do as much as I can naturally.
Life often throws a rock into our path or even a shower of gravel to make us slip and slide off the straight and narrow. Sometimes I think that we experience some of these things to shake us up a bit so we can regroup or refocus on who and what is really important. It's easy to cruise along in life leaving things up to chance. And I think that's what we're doing when we stop being active in our pursuit and just allow all kinds of things to color our world with ideas and images of things we know are not pleasing. We have choices to make daily about our environment and our footprint. We hear those words the most in relationship to conservation of the earth, and of course, all that starts with our little world too, but I'm talking about a much smaller picture. But that smaller picture can have a huge impact on the big picture.
For instance, are we passive or active? The victim of our circumstances or one who will try to do something about them? Maybe if a change needs to be made, it's in our outlook. Our personal environment includes what we look at, what we listen to, and what we read just for starters. What do we think about? Who are we hanging out with? And just in our own room, is there something that may be causing us to be afraid? Or giving us feelings that we can't handle alone? But most importantly, what do we think about God? Who is He? What does He mean to us?
When we feel the pressure of some of life's cloudy moments, what do we do? What should we do? Do we focus inwardly, looking only at the unfairness or the hurt? I'm not saying we are made of iron and can't feel or hurt, but I am saying that we can't allow it to overcome us and stop us from being effective in our walk.
And the flip side of that is this...Based on how we react to the influences of our little personal world, what do others see? When they look at us, do they see someone who points to God? Someone who does what's right even when it's not easy? Or, someone who allows the world to throw rocks in their path and stumbles blindly, out of control? Someone at the mercy of what ever it is that clouds their view? That's bad enough for ourselves and our peers, but what about little kids who look at us and want to emulate what they see? What are they learning from us?
That's where our influence begins to color the big picture. Whatever we take into our lives or allow to color our view is what's going to come out. It's what people see regardless of the facade we try to put forth. Especially kids. They don't try to give people the benefit of the doubt, they don't understand all the little quirks of the human spirit, they just see the bare bones truth. What are you saying to them?
It's our world but it's not all about us. Our outward focus should always be the view of choice. God 1st, others 2nd and me last....always. It's not always easy to keep things in that perspective and I think that our personal circumstances really do affect us deeply sometimes. But that should be the goal. I think we're here for others and when we start looking at ourselves that way, we can stop being selfish and self-centered. We may just find a joy in life that we never knew. It's called love.
So when it seems that things are pressing in on you and taking over your life or your thoughts, follow Jesus's example and tell whatever is casting a shadow on you to take a hike! Refocus, regroup and go on...because we never know who is watching and learning from us.
Life often throws a rock into our path or even a shower of gravel to make us slip and slide off the straight and narrow. Sometimes I think that we experience some of these things to shake us up a bit so we can regroup or refocus on who and what is really important. It's easy to cruise along in life leaving things up to chance. And I think that's what we're doing when we stop being active in our pursuit and just allow all kinds of things to color our world with ideas and images of things we know are not pleasing. We have choices to make daily about our environment and our footprint. We hear those words the most in relationship to conservation of the earth, and of course, all that starts with our little world too, but I'm talking about a much smaller picture. But that smaller picture can have a huge impact on the big picture.
For instance, are we passive or active? The victim of our circumstances or one who will try to do something about them? Maybe if a change needs to be made, it's in our outlook. Our personal environment includes what we look at, what we listen to, and what we read just for starters. What do we think about? Who are we hanging out with? And just in our own room, is there something that may be causing us to be afraid? Or giving us feelings that we can't handle alone? But most importantly, what do we think about God? Who is He? What does He mean to us?
When we feel the pressure of some of life's cloudy moments, what do we do? What should we do? Do we focus inwardly, looking only at the unfairness or the hurt? I'm not saying we are made of iron and can't feel or hurt, but I am saying that we can't allow it to overcome us and stop us from being effective in our walk.
And the flip side of that is this...Based on how we react to the influences of our little personal world, what do others see? When they look at us, do they see someone who points to God? Someone who does what's right even when it's not easy? Or, someone who allows the world to throw rocks in their path and stumbles blindly, out of control? Someone at the mercy of what ever it is that clouds their view? That's bad enough for ourselves and our peers, but what about little kids who look at us and want to emulate what they see? What are they learning from us?
That's where our influence begins to color the big picture. Whatever we take into our lives or allow to color our view is what's going to come out. It's what people see regardless of the facade we try to put forth. Especially kids. They don't try to give people the benefit of the doubt, they don't understand all the little quirks of the human spirit, they just see the bare bones truth. What are you saying to them?
It's our world but it's not all about us. Our outward focus should always be the view of choice. God 1st, others 2nd and me last....always. It's not always easy to keep things in that perspective and I think that our personal circumstances really do affect us deeply sometimes. But that should be the goal. I think we're here for others and when we start looking at ourselves that way, we can stop being selfish and self-centered. We may just find a joy in life that we never knew. It's called love.
So when it seems that things are pressing in on you and taking over your life or your thoughts, follow Jesus's example and tell whatever is casting a shadow on you to take a hike! Refocus, regroup and go on...because we never know who is watching and learning from us.
October 2, 2010
Being an anemic slacker
So I've been slacking on some of the homemade goodness that I like to include in our diet. It's time to get back into a schedule so I can keep up with production. Next week, I plan to make up some kefirs, kombucha, and sourdough starter so I can add them back into my routine.
Got the word that I am indeed anemic so I need to address that pretty quickly. In addition to making sure that my diet includes food that add iron I'll be drinking blackstrap molasses/ACV tea twice/day, drinking nettle tea, eating a little more red meat, taking folic acid, B12 and a good multivitamin. It's important to have enough Vitamin C to metabolize the iron that I'm adding so I'll be sure to eat foods that offer it. Thankfully, the doctor said all the other numbers on my blood screening are really good. But the above herb/vitamin plan is mine, she didn't tell me to do anything until more tests are run. I'm not waiting. Regardless of what else is going on, I can begin to address the anemia.
I have a long week coming up so I'll need some extra steam to get me through. Praying for the numbers to come up quickly. It would be nice to feel human again. More research planned for today but I feel like I need a nap already.
Got the word that I am indeed anemic so I need to address that pretty quickly. In addition to making sure that my diet includes food that add iron I'll be drinking blackstrap molasses/ACV tea twice/day, drinking nettle tea, eating a little more red meat, taking folic acid, B12 and a good multivitamin. It's important to have enough Vitamin C to metabolize the iron that I'm adding so I'll be sure to eat foods that offer it. Thankfully, the doctor said all the other numbers on my blood screening are really good. But the above herb/vitamin plan is mine, she didn't tell me to do anything until more tests are run. I'm not waiting. Regardless of what else is going on, I can begin to address the anemia.
I have a long week coming up so I'll need some extra steam to get me through. Praying for the numbers to come up quickly. It would be nice to feel human again. More research planned for today but I feel like I need a nap already.
October 1, 2010
If I'm so tired, why can't I sleep?
I don't understand how I can be so very tired and yet so wide awake. Makes no sense whatsoever. I'm exhausted when I go to bed but here I am about 4 hours later, wandering around the house trying to be quiet.
Long day yesterday and a long one in store. Makes me even more tired just thinking about it. I guess worries make things harder because once the edge of my fatique has worn off, the pressing worries that are a part of my life right now prevail, bringing them to the fore front and pushing sleep aside. Not good in the long run. I'm thinking that I'm anemic again and that might have something to do with it. Hopefully, I'll find out for sure before the weekend.
I'd like to take a break from my problems but since that isn't going to happen, I'm turning them over to the Lord. I'd like to say that takes them away but it doesn't. It does make them easier to think about because I know that I don't have to go through them alone. And of course, being the person that I am, I'll go back and pick hem up again, at least for a time because I'm impatient. It's hard to wait on the Lord's timing for good things but it's even harder to wait on His timing to fix problems. Some folks might say that I'm not faithful enough, but I like to think of it as reality. Not because I think that's a good excuse, just because for me that's being honest.
I know He will never leave me or forsake me and I trust in that but I can't help wondering what's going to happen and if I'll respond the way I should. It's great to say that I'm giving this body of mine to God with the idea in mind that He will "fix" it. It's easy to ignore the idea that He might not. It's also easy to say that it's going to be okay but I'm still scared.
Maybe just admitting that was a big step 'cuz it feels like a dam just burst somewhere inside. I'm sorry that I let go of your hand Lord. Can you reach down here and pull me out? Again.
Long day yesterday and a long one in store. Makes me even more tired just thinking about it. I guess worries make things harder because once the edge of my fatique has worn off, the pressing worries that are a part of my life right now prevail, bringing them to the fore front and pushing sleep aside. Not good in the long run. I'm thinking that I'm anemic again and that might have something to do with it. Hopefully, I'll find out for sure before the weekend.
I'd like to take a break from my problems but since that isn't going to happen, I'm turning them over to the Lord. I'd like to say that takes them away but it doesn't. It does make them easier to think about because I know that I don't have to go through them alone. And of course, being the person that I am, I'll go back and pick hem up again, at least for a time because I'm impatient. It's hard to wait on the Lord's timing for good things but it's even harder to wait on His timing to fix problems. Some folks might say that I'm not faithful enough, but I like to think of it as reality. Not because I think that's a good excuse, just because for me that's being honest.
I know He will never leave me or forsake me and I trust in that but I can't help wondering what's going to happen and if I'll respond the way I should. It's great to say that I'm giving this body of mine to God with the idea in mind that He will "fix" it. It's easy to ignore the idea that He might not. It's also easy to say that it's going to be okay but I'm still scared.
Maybe just admitting that was a big step 'cuz it feels like a dam just burst somewhere inside. I'm sorry that I let go of your hand Lord. Can you reach down here and pull me out? Again.
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